Good morning… It. Is. Monday! Okay… road rundown: it’s wet and temps are near freezing. I gave things a pretty thorough inspection for ice in Crestline, along Lake Gregory Drive and through the Narrows. I was unable to find anything as slippery as ice BUT… with temps hovering in the numbers that make ice (that’s around 32 fair in height, for those not deep into scientific trivia), the possibility is there. Thus I recommend chaining all four wheels. Oh, I’m kidding… just remember that the roads are wet and ice is a possibility, with likelihood increasing with elevation. Please don’t chain in the Crestline area… that will only embarrass us all.
And just to be exceedingly clear in my description of street slickeriness, there is no snow to be found, at least along my aforementioned route.
There’s a little fog, though. It’s never heavy, remaining light to moderate all around Crestline and even along the rim. The fog floor is somewhere around the Crestline Bridge (Highway 18 x Highway 138), so you’ll see the lights of San Bernardino once you get to this part of the drive.
When you hit the road this morning, remember that there’s a very high chance of rocks hitting the road this morning, as well. The Narrows are a prime stone zone. I only saw small pebbles on my drive but these are often harbingers of subsequent sizable stones to come. There are a couple of rockplows working the highway, though, so they should be able to keep things moving even if the rocks do roll. Thank-you, CalTrans!!!
I finally watched “Bird Box.” Geez… It seems like the last time Sandra Bullock had a BIG movie they called it “The Blind Side.” I just sort of feel like the title “Bird Box” should have been reserved for a movie in which a box of birds actually had some reason for being. Perhaps THIS movie should have been called, maybe, “The Blind Ride”? Whatever… it was mildly entertaining and well, it was mildly entertaining. That’s about it. I give it maybe, sort of horizontal thumbs.
I noticed the other day that some words are super close in spelling but this does not necessarily indicate any similarity. I accidentally bought a case of “Putrified Water” at the store. I have GOT to read my labels more carefully.
Today is National Thank God It’s Monday day. I sort of feel like TGIM is sort of a WTH thing. Monday seems to make the least-favorite-days-of-the-week list for most people, usually taking first place but almost always at least in the top seven, for sure. “TGIF” has validity… TGIM, not so much. So, I’m taking a stand: I am NOT thanking God that today is Monday. Yeah… I’m a rebel.
But today is ALSO National Tempura Day. No, not that funny-smelling paint that you made posters with in craft class. Tempura is basically anything edible that’s been battered and deep fried. It can be fish or cheese or broccoli or Elmer’s Glue or whatever… it’s pretty popular at Asian restaurants. In fact, I was recently dining at a sushi place, where I ordered some tempura. They screwed up my order and I got irritated. When they refused to correct the situation, well, I guess I threw sort of a tempura tantrum.
So, “barn finds” are the trendy thing for automotive journalists to write about these days. Well, it seems that EVERYBODY who feels the calling as a journalist now wants to write about barn finds, even though most barn finds these days are not barn finds. See, a traditional barn find is a car that somebody discovers was parked somewhere (preferably in a barn) and forgotten. Maybe the owner passed away or even just forgot. Then, thirty years later, somebody stumbles across a Ferrari or Pantera or Steve McQueen’s (insert name of any vehicle or object here) and suddenly, there’s a million dollar jackpot to cash in on.
Now, most barn-find vehicles can’t be driven… one of the very worst things that can befall a car is sitting, doing nothing for years. Rubber parts simply rot away… belts, hoses, seals. Without ever being flexed or lubricated, they’ll turn to dust. Rubber tires become fabulously dangerous… even the ones that might somehow still hold air are nearly certain to disintegrate as soon as a little centrifugal force is applied to them. Rats will nest in the cozy parts, and birds will fall all over themselves in their eagerness to besmirch the paint, body and glass with acidic, destructive, hazardous material… sometimes INCHES deep. Rust thrives on cars that are never washed, waxed or loved.
But… many of these barn finds, even in utterly horrible condition, can be worth money. And everybody wants in on that, so many are claiming “barn finds.” Cars that have NOT been forgotten—but simply stored—are being called “barn finds.” Cars that are three years old… “barn finds.” Cars that have been lovingly cared for but are painted barnyard red… “barn find.” Keep an eye out and you’ll soon note that stories about barn finds are plentiful… but very few have anything to do with a “barn” or a “find.”
I made a barn find once… but, as it turns out, road apples have very little value. And BAM! Just like that, I feel regret for going there, and immediately, I must apologize for that joke: I understand the need to demonstrate a higher level of manurity.
By Job, we’re going to do trivia… and if I have anything to say about it, we’re gonna do trivia every freakin’ day! So, in pursuit of the goal of daily trivia, here ya go! The Three Musketeers candy bar was so named because it used to be three pieces of candy with separate pieces flavored as chocolate, strawberry and vanilla. However, during WWII, due to war rationing, restrictions were emplaced and production costs rose. So the company decided to trifle with the trinity and make the confectionary congregation into a singular sweetmeat of the most popular flavor, chocolate.
You may recall that the other day, I expressed jubilation at the idea of discussing Pruno… the drink to get you liquored up while you are locked down. Pruno is prison booze… the alcoholic beverage you can get behind bars, but not AT bars. It is brewed by fermenting fruit, ketchup, sugar, or just about anything that has sugar it in. Bread is thrown into the fermentation container (typically a plastic sack) in order to get some yeast action. It takes about a week to ferment (a period of time in which the contraband risks discovery by guards at any time), give or take a few days, and when ready, is filtered through underwear or socks. I have been told by actual prison guards that DIRTY underwear or socks are preferred over clean, as the additional bacteria that is provided by the funky stuff “helps” with the continued fermentation. Really.
I have never tried it. However, I have never heard or read a single report of anybody saying that it tastes even as good as “barely tolerable.” Instead, every description seems to indicate a taste like sour vomit and strong urine mixed with turpentine… or worse. Apparently, it’s not tasty. However it IS alcoholic and that active ingredient is the reason convicts drink it. Unfortunately for THEM, the alcohol content is fairly low, typically between 2% (weaker than the vast majority of light beers) and 14% (like a typical wine). So, those fellas have to drink quite a bit of the stuff in order to tie on a decent buzz. Then there’s the very possibility of pathogens and dangerous bacteria that could, well, kill ya’ dead. Nonetheless, while some might say Pruno, I say, PruYESSS!!!
Make it through Monday and look forward to that drink after work (as long as you started its percolation a week or so ago, and also have some dirty socks or underwear around). Keep an eye out for barn finds but don’t step in the ones like I have found. Have a Three Musketeers bar today and impress your co-workers with the amazing way that the single bar with the curious name came to be. And look forward to tomorrow when we’ll be, “So Happy It’s Tuesday!”