Good morning, fellow commuters! Roads are easy… no rain, no fog, no wind, no rocks, no hurricanes, no Superbowl traffic, no rolling roadblocks (Ha! Don’t I wish THAT were true!), no ice (damn near 50 degrees at 5AM today… at 4,400 feet!), no skunks (except for that one that’s been there for a few days, across from the gas station in Crestline), no landslides, no avalanches, no construction, no worries. You ought to be feline fine about the drive today.
I confessed a while back that I had come out of the closet: I am a full-on, flaming cat person now. I was a dog person for a very long time, but now that I’ve come to grips with my own transpetuality, I just feel so free… unleashed, if you will. Please note, however, that I am still a little uncomfortable with being called a petophile.
Still… in spite of being a cat person, there’s no way that I can deny the arrogance of felines. I may have mentioned before (and if I have, please pardon the redundancy, and also for repeating the same thing twice) what the difference is, between dogs and cats? Well, the dog thinks, “Wow… my master brings me food and water, and gives me a place to live… he must be a GOD!” While the CAT thinks, “Wow… my master brings me food and water, and gives me a place to live… I must be a GOD!”
Oh, and here’s another difference: When you get home from work at the end of the day, the dog will be thrilled to see you, will jump all over you and probably even lick your face. The cat, on the other hand, will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.
Of course, you heard about when the German Shepherd, the Doberman and the cat died, right? No? Well… allow me to share…
The three recently dispatched, are faced with God, who wants to know what they believe in.
The German Shepherd says, “I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.”
“Good,” says God. “Then sit down on my right side. Doberman: What do you believe in?”
The Doberman answers, “I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.”
“Ahhh…” God says. “Then sit to my left.”
God then looks at the cat and asks, “And what do you believe in?”
The cat answers, “I believe you’re sitting in my seat.”
We’ve got a cat at home. For the purposes of this story, we’ll call her, “Mocha,” because her name is, “Mocha.” Anyhow, this cat loves to chase around the dot from the laser beam. I’m pretty surprised, too… she’s been chasing it for months. You’d think she’d eventually get tired of it, since, really… she has yet to actually capture the thing. Oh, she’s come awful close, a lot of times… but she’s never experienced the satisfaction of chewing on it, or batting it around, or dragging it’s lifeless, bloody carcass onto my pillow. Nevertheless, she loves to chase it. I’ve got to give her credit for felicitous feline optimism.
In fact, this cat has figured out that the laser dot only provides her with entertainment WHEN the little metallic device is in my hand… so, when she is ready to play, she will actually hunt the laser pointer down, pick it up, and drop it in my lap. Then she’ll sit there meowing at me until I obey.
Halfway through today, you’ll be halfway through your workweek… and it’s all just coasting from there. See all of you cool cats on Thursday!