Good morning, commuters! Most of us have a short work week, regarding the nine to five grind, or six to six, or three to two, or whatever it is. Most of us will not be working on Thursday, given that this day is Thanksgiving, always held on November 25. Or, wait, 24? 26? 35? Nope, it’s a THURSDAY holiday, because, well, I don’t know, I guess because Thursday never had anything to claim as its own before, so they felt bad for it, and gave it Thanksgiving. Whatevs… most of us will be trippin’ on phan, or trying to, even if turkey really doesn’t have any more trypto than, say, caffeine pills, despite urban legends regarding natural birdborne narcotics.
Anyhow, roads are clear today. It’s not real cold, and there’s no moisture in the air, or coming down, or on the ground. I did encounter a couple of half-hearted (always a fun term to use, given its fun sound!) gusts of wind on the way down the mountain today, but I don’t anticipate that they’ll amount to much, and they certainly didn’t aid or abet any rocks in their anti-car conspiracy plans.
The radio weather reports have resumed predicting rain on Wednesday, so maybe then we’ll have something to talk about regarding road conditions. In the meantime, I’ve got nothing but commentary on really important news… like Bitcoin!
So, Bitcoin, one of the bigger cryptocurrencies, is taking a nosedive. That. is. so. weird! Right? I mean, a “currency,” based upon the coded ownership of complex code, only existing in cyberspace (turns out those shiny coins I bought from that guy on 2nd and Victoria in San Bernardino are worthless… grrrr), kept in “virtual wallets,” and currently riding low on an investor’s share of speculative short-sell of the bullish long game, and upward trending of the long-sell of the short game, hedged for profitable loss in a bear market, with capital gains and portfolio dislodgement, hedged against rising negative equity, in a market share with trading at or below market fluctuating S&P values? … and only really definable by what its value is compared to DOLLARS… you mean THAT is appearing to flounder and lose value? BUT IT SEEMED SO ROCK FREAKIN’ SOLID!!!
I recently made the vow that I would NEVER stay at another Marriott Hotel again. The last time I did was probably 20 years ago, and it was fine… very nice, in fact. However, every single day, I get phone calls from Lisa, Jennifer, Karen, Michelle, or Rhonda, whose perky recorded voices thank me for my recent stay at Marriott… or inform me that I’ve been selected by Marriott for a very special gift… or that somebody else who recently stayed with Marriott submitted my name for a very special reward… or some other crap. Every. Damn. Day. I get a call from Marriott. It’s a different “spoofed” phone number every single time, so blocking the number does nothing to stop the calls. NOTHING. In fact, on occasion I’ve called back the number displayed on my phone (using a different phone), and I’ve learned that most of the spoofed numbers are actual phone numbers belonging to random people… who have no idea that their number was spoofed.
However… I recently learned that Marriott is just as much a “victim” in this as I am… Marriott has NOTHING to do with these calls. The calls are the work of a vast scam being perpetrated on unsuspecting people for the sole purpose of ripping them off, and in the process, unfairly makes Marriott look bad. Must I even tell you? Just hang up… it’s a scam! Don’t appease them, don’t give them any information, don’t give them five seconds of your valuable time, don’t even be polite: they have dialed your number, using a fraudulent “caller ID” identifier, with the sole intent of stealing your money. Anyhow… don’t hold it against Marriott, either.
Here’s another one: Not too long ago, Mrs. Kdog and I visited the World Famous Gold and Silver Pawn Shop in Las Vegas, where the TV show “Pawn Stars” is filmed. I’m not sure how they did this since neither of us left ANY information anywhere (our best guess is that somebody is using license plate readers), but a few days later, I received a phone call congratulating me for being a winner in the “Pawn Stars” sweepstakes! I had won a “VIP tour” of the shop, fully paid for by TLC… TLC wanted me to have a great experience! The caller mentioned “TLC” a number of times on the brief phone call… and it wasn’t until later that it dawned on me that “Pawn Stars” is NOT a show broadcast by TLC, but by the History Channel instead. I did some quick Internet research, and rapidly learned that the slimy and scammish organization that gives “VIP tours” (to every person that they can identify, who ever visited the store at all) is, indeed, called “TLC…” The Timeshare Liquidation Company. Wow! Timeshares… not networks. Oh, and incidentally, I also learned that the “VIP tour,” which only comes AFTER a typical timeshare presentation of unspeakable duration, isn’t even anything notable… it’s essentially the same as simply visiting the store on one’s own, as a regular ol’ customer. There is nothing special about it… nothing. Too bad for the chumps who’ve had to endure that, but a tip of the hat to them for posting their experiences on the Internet warning the rest of us not to fall for it!
In other news, reports of a “major” Salmonella outbreak have been reported by the CDC. A bunch of people, in a bunch of states, have come down with salmonella… BEFORE Thanksgiving, even. Only, there’s no “urgent” warning going out to consumers… and I am okay with it. This could definitely qualify as a Darwin award contest, since all reported cases appear to be a result of consuming RAW turkey. Raw. Not cooked. Evidently, some folks consume the turkey via the “popsicle method,” and just have the kids lick the frozen bird down to the bones. But, see, in my household, we have a tradition of COOKING the bird…. While giant salmonella popsicles might be fun, our way has kept us from adding to CDC numbers.
Speaking of Darwinism, I keep thinking that eventually “challenges” will stop being a thing. The “Ice Bucket Challenge,” which peaked in the summer of 2014, was great, as it even came with a “cause,” encouraging people to use it as a reason to make donations to a charity. Even though nobody ever donated, at least the good intention was there, so at least the road to somewhere was paved. But, then we started getting other challenges… and since challenges were the fun part, and donating money to charities, not so much, now challenges are just there for no other reason than to make dares… sort of like what fifth grade boys do at recess. The “Cinnamon Challenge”? The “Gallon of Milk Challenge”? The “Hot Pepper Challenge”? The “Condom Challenge”? (BTW, for those who are unaware, as I was until very recently, this is where one is supposed to snort a condom—presumably new, right out of the package—up one’s nose, then spit it out of one’s mouth. I am not making this up!) How ’bout the “Tide Pod Challenge”? Then there’s the “Blue Whale Challenge,” in which participants perform 50 dares over 50 days, with the final act resulting in their own death… (This game became insanely popular in Russia, where officials claimed that at least 130 young people died as a result… and those “administering” this activity have even been prosecuted) Still, every day, there are new challenges posted on the Internet… there are THOUSANDS of them. You won’t win any money, you won’t get paid at all. You won’t become famous, and it is doubtful that anybody will think more highly of you for completing a challenge. But… I suppose if rubbing Tabasco into your eyes, eating a roll of toilet paper, or paper cutting your tongue seem like fun, well, knock yourself out, Darwin Award candidate! At least for now, applying makeup while blindfolded, practicing various accents on unsuspecting strangers, or sticking cheese to your dog probably won’t risk life or limb… but it still isn’t going to make you look like a genius!
Toyota recently announced that they’ll be adding the Camry and the Avalon to the lineup of cars that will receive a special performance upgrade. For many years, Toyota has created extra-hot versions of many of their vehicles and festooned these with a special graphics package that reflects their relation to Toyota Racing Development, or “TRD.” (I can’t be the only one to have found amusement in that acronym, which surely rhymes with, “bird!”!) Apparently, the high-performance divisions of other auto manufacturers have preferred to remain little-known by NOT advertising their existence with such graphics: Chevrolet Racing And Performance, Dodge Race Inspired Performance, and Pontiac Outdoor and Offroad Performance divisions to name a few.
So, “Malcolm in the Middle” star Frankie Muniz recently left home for a few days. When he returned, four of the five stories of his house were essentially destroyed due to flooding. According to Muniz, his cat had accidentally turned on a faucet in an upper story, the sink overflowed, and disaster ensued. Now, that’s a bummer, to be sure… but the thing that I took away as most interesting when reading about this was that many on the Internet are angry with Muniz… because, according to them, he is “making accusations without any proof!” See, I’d missed that… and poor cat, huh? Being accused of this… with NO proof? Maybe we should start a GoFundMe for the cat, so that it can sue for slander? Even just the mental agony this poor feline is going through… the accusation must be unbearable!
You never know, though… maybe the cat was just accepting, “The Faucet Challenge”!