Good morning, curve-craving commuters! The wind has returned to the Inland Empire, and with wind, comes rocks. Highways 138 and 18 have plenty of them today… as you drive, be attentive to the fact that every curve may be hiding rocks on the roadway ahead of you. Remember, the left lane has fewer rocks that the right lane does, so if/when you can drive in the left without inhibiting the flow of traffic, consider doing so (driving in the left lane, not inhibiting traffic).
The lower-elevation haze we’ve had for a couple of days is creeping uphill… today its upper edge is at around 3,000 feet. It’s slightly—oh-so-slightly—more dense than it was yesterday, but still won’t slow you down unless you were hoping to do 200-300 MPH. Now, this light fog stuff actually provides enough moisture to make the roads a little slippery, so once you have entered the haze area, you may want to shave a few MsPH off of your speed, at least for the curves. And, in parts of the IE today, you may even need your windshield wipers: I went through Rancho Kook today, and needed the wipers. It’s not QUITE “rain,” I don’t think, but there’s enough moisture in the air that it covers the windshield and obscures one’s vision.
Other than THAT, roads are good: No snow, no ice, no cars that crashed into trees and ignited surrounding brush. Well, we had one of those EARLIER, but it’s all cleared up by now… see MountainReporter.com for details on that lil’ fender barbecuer.
Okay, there’s a new GFS (“Giant Sign”) on Highway 138, about 1,000 feet uphill form Highway 18. Spokesperson Terri Bazinga, with the Big Bangin’ Sign Theory Division of CalTrans, explained that this is a prototype sign that WE get to try out! It provides information regarding time, weather, and other conditions. It may LOOK like just a skeleton of framework, but here’s how it works: As you pass the sign, look up, and THROUGH the framework. If it’s black, it’s nighttime. If it’s blue, it’s a clear day. If it’s gray, there are clouds… but if you can’t see the sign at all, it’s really foggy. If you see snow falling, it is snowing, and if the sign is wet, it’s raining. If you see Mary Poppins, a cow, or a tanker truck, then it’s really windy. Finally, if it’s upside-down, you may have had an accident, and should probably contact emergency services. Oddly, today, there is evidence across the street from that sign that SOMEBODY wiped out there last night. (When people leave really large car parts behind, it’s pretty strong evidence of a crash.)
Today is National Harvey Wallbanger Day. Yep… another day devoted to a strong alcoholic beverage. If you ask me whether I agree with making national days to celebrate alcoholic beverages, I will plead the fifth of Jack Daniels. Thish probly should have been yeshterday, after we learned about election reshults. Heck, I shtarted drinking then and haven’t shtopped, but itsh not a plobrem for me, shinsche I can totably hold my boozsge.
It’s also National STEAM Day, which is designed to encourage kids to become involved in Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, and Math. It USED to be a day to promote Science, Technology, Art, and Basketweaving, then they went to Science, Technology, University Preparation, Institutions, and Design, but that didn’t work out, either. So, today, we have STEAM. And I’m pretty sure that the only way to make this happen is to integrate these topics into the electronic world that kids of today live in. GTA, Zelda, Halo, Mario, Call of Duty… texting, Tweeting, Instagramming… downloading, uploading, compressing… I fear that all things that hold the interest of today’s kiddos are now simply electronic, and that tangible science is no longer of interest to the vast majority of new generations, such as Generations Y, Z, Bi, LaZ, AB positive, Millennials, Maniacals, whatever.
California voted the other day to maintain the additional taxes recently imposed by Governor Brown. Because, CA voters are savvy enough to know that they are stupid enough to think that the GOVERNMENT spending the money they’ve earned is way better than themselves spending that money… ‘cause, the government makes SMART decisions on how to spend money, and they never lie about where funds will be diverted. Plus, speaking for myself, I just hate paying reasonable prices for a tank of gas… it’s so much nicer to drop a COUPLE of extra twenties, instead of like in all those other states where the same amount of gasoline is a mere single Jackson.
So, Delta Airlines has made the news with a scatalous incident, one both noxious and obnoxious: according to reports, a few days ago, a passenger boarded his plane and upon sitting down, noticed a terrible stench. He soon discovered that he was sitting on— well, IN—a pile of fresh fecal matter. The flight crew refused to clean it up and told him that if he didn’t like it, his choice was to get off the plane or sit in the poop for the duration of the flight. This passenger had very important business to attend to at his destination, and thus “chose” to endure sitting in the poop for the entire two hour flight. A number of other passengers complained, too, before departure, but the flight crew was not to be bothered.
Delta has since publicly apologized and explained that this was NOT handled according to airline or FAA guidelines (they were SUPPOSED to stop boarding, remove all passengers, and send in a “bio-hazard team” to sanitize the craft). As compensation, they have added almost enough “Frequent Flyer Miles” to the passenger’s account, that he can almost (but not quite) get one short flight compensated. However, after this incident, I’m pretty sure that the loss of customers (like me… I certainly will not fly Delta again) will be punitive enough for the airline to reconsider how they compensate passengers who are forced to sit in poop for the duration of a flight.
Sinead O’Connor has officially announced that she hates white people. She is totally mentally stable, as evidenced by a number of misunderstandings over the years, so nobody is really all THAT worried about breaking the news to her, that, as the Irishest person most people have ever seen, and a very thin family tree that looks more like a telephone pole than an actual tree, that she is… well… white. Like, super white. It’s been seven hours and fifteen days since she took her stand, and while we know that sometimes living with her was sometimes hard, we’re willing to give her all the room in the world to do what she wants. Just don’t loosen the straps on her straightjacket TOO much.
So, check the sign as you head down the hill (Hey… I hope that sign doesn’t threaten my job as road reporter… maybe I’ll petition for changes to that thing), and remember to watch out for rocks. Slow it down towards the bottom of the hill, Don’t fly Delta, don’t annoy Sinead O-Connor (I don’t care WHO you are, you probably want to sort of steer clear of that one), and remember that Friday is only a few short hours away.