Roadways are clear today, but some of those drivers are awful! Road rage seems to be the thing! I wrangled with some guy in a Jeep, and got challenged by a guy in a Dodge. There was contentious confrontation over a controversial contest with a guy in a… Continental. Ha… pretty sure he was incontinent. The guy in the Chevy had a very cavalier attitude, and seemed to care not about the first rule of Fiat club. Then, a seamstress cut me off… that led to yet another alteration. That just seams sew wrong.
Say, we haven’t covered the news in a while… we probably need to brush up on it a little!
Elon Musk has been tweeting. Apparently, Tesla claims that Edison stole his idea, while Edison claims the opposite. Tesla is coiled and ready to strike… while Edison had one of those “light bulb” moments, and has chosen to stay private. Or something like that.
Here’s the story… of a lovely ranch house. It was bringing up six very lovely kids. All of them had hair of course, like their mother, the youngest was a girl. Here’s a story, of a boy named La-ance… he was famous… for being… in a band. He was not, the biker with one ball… but he was all alone. ‘Till the one day when the house was up for sale, and Lance knew that this was much more than a hunch; that this house, must somehow become his, but then it all went to hell and some corporation bought it instead and Lance ended up getting depressed, meeting up with the wrong crowd and shooting up in synch with Demi Lovato on some backstreet. Bye, bye, bye.
Speaking of very important celebrity news: Kim Kardashian, Justin Beiber and Gigi Hadid, blah blah blah… blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah outraged fans when blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah seen with blah blah blah blah blah OMG blah blah blah blah blah blah blah selfies blah blah blah blah blah blah blah in trouble again blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
The Everglades are facing a new wildlife crisis. We’ve heard a lot about the non- native snakes getting out of control, but a new worry is that alligators appear to be exhibiting homosexual behavior. The big concern is that they may spread gator aids.
Alexandria de Gomez- Cortez Ignacio Artesia Clintonia Hernandez Ocasio- Cortez, the “Democratic Socialist” (aka, “Alexandria From the Block,” when she was growing up fighting for survival— nay, dominance— on the mean streets of Queens, until she was five) has it all figured out: Everybody gets free stuff, like healthcare, housing, food, cell phones, way dope threads, bling, sick basketball shoes, fittyhundred- inch 36K HDTVs, and Cadillacs, and it will be paid for with— TAXES! However, if taxes somehow can’t cover it all, well, the government can pick up the slack! See: TWO sources of infinite amounts of cash! TWO! Then, with TWO infinite sources of cash, everybody can quit working! Next, being Utopia, we will no longer need police or military, so there’s even MORE money for everybody else to share. I have no idea why nobody (other than Stalin, Lenin, Marx and Mao) ever thought of this before… it’s brilliant!
Fires still rage across California… lists can be found online showing all of the places where fires are. Soon, however, they will be switching to lists of where fire isn’t. It’s just easier that way.
There’s your news summary… try to get home today without any traffic disputes. Be especially careful if you see that one guy in the Plymouth Fury.
Very nice