Road conditions: See yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. No hazards, nothin’ to report. Now, the only notable thing that I saw today was an unusual number of South Americans… I don’t have the exact number, but I’d say it was about a Brazilian of them. Ha! Just kidding… there was really only Juan.
However, today is Thanksgiving: Maybe not for everybody, but, see, my household is filled with gratitude and beer, because of my neighbor. I’m sure that my credibility rating will go down, and perhaps even evaporate entirely, among readers, because this sounds too good to be true, but I swear that it is: I have a neighbor who has “too much beer.” I know, sounds like an impossibility, an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms…but, really, it’s true. His employer gives beer to the employees, and my neighbor has “too much beer!” So, every few days, my neighbor knocks on my door, and asks me if I want another case of beer. Of course, this is merely a formality, a rhetorical question… but sure enough, HE GIVES ME FREE BEER. Homer Simpson and Hank Hill are cartoon characters in a fantasy world, and this doesn’t even happen THERE… but it happens to me. Thank- you, Geoffrey!
So, Mars is on its closest approach to Earth in lots of years. It’s 35 million miles away. Apparently, this is 1/7 of the distance as when at its greatest distance from Earth (It’s usually a Brazilian miles away, of course). Right now, instead of just being a little speck in the sky, it’s a speck in the sky.
It’s Shark Week. Didja see how the people in San Antonio celebrated? Some sharkophiles went to a zoo, one in which visitors are allowed to reach into a tank and touch the sea creatures. One dude reached in, lifted a shark out of the tank, put it in a baby stroller, wrapped a blanket around it, and strolled out of the park with the creature disguised as a baby (He was banking on the fact that most babies are pretty weird looking, which was a very safe bet, I’d say)! I know… you are hoping that this is leading up to a great punch line, but no… this happened. Fortunately for the shark, it WAS recovered, and at least one of the sea life swindlers is in jail (the “Shark Tank,” perhaps?). Crazy.
Oh, and while us mountain folk are not close to the ocean, we can still celebrate Shark Week. Every now and then, it’s fun to spontaneously shout, “SAND SHARK!!! Everybody in the water NOW!!”
Terrible fires are raging all over the place. On the news last night, there was footage of the Greek fire. I can tell you this: They’re doing it all wrong there. You never fight a Greece fire with water.
Oh, and now the pharmaceutical industry is embroiled in scandal. It appears that bootleg Viagra has been introduced from European counterfeiters. There is, uhhhh, hard evidence to suggest that the Russians have been meddling with the erection process here.
Speaking of all of this international news, I’ve been wondering what’s so great about Switzerland? And, really, I don’t know… but the flag is a big plus.