Roads are clear today… nothing to inhibit your speedy travels. The only thing that I encountered today that was even slightly out of the ordinary was a navel orange sitting in the middle of the right lane, just above the 4000 ft. turnout. I stopped to check it out: Turns out, he had simply run out of juice.
So, today is, “National Moon Day!” This day only rears its head only once per year, butt I can get still behind that! So many cheeky tails to relate, regarding this fine tradition!
If you’ve ever taken a passenger train anywhere, you’ve surely seen many a full moon. For some reason, it’s just become a “thing that ya do,” for many: Ya moon passing trains. If you have ever taken Amtrak for a long journey, you’ve seen the ”hiney hello” a lot of times… but even for local commutes, it’s not uncommon to glance out the window and see a row of cheeks (always an even number) topping a row of dropped pants. It’s not done out of malice… it’s just sort of a tradition. Sure, a tradition that’s technically illegal, and may require participants to register on the “Tracks Offender Registry,” but, whatever the case, it’s just a thing, now. Perhaps further investigation will help get to the bottom of things.
Okay, short story time here: I’m telling this story for a friend. See, the last time he ever mooned anybody, as a teenager, it wasn’t entirely a positive experience. He was with friends on a highway in Northern CA, when a couple of girls pulled their car alongside. Somehow, a dare was conveyed for my friend to moon the girls. Never one to shirk a dare, especially one presented by GIRLS, he dropped trou, and maneuvered his tail right out of the window, to the shocked delight of the fellow travelers.
Well, as the saying goes, what goes out, must come back in, and after his display of buttocks bravado, the naked parts of him needed to get back in the car with the rest of him. But, see, cars of that era had door locks that were operated by a knob that lifted up and out of the door sill… so, if, say, for instance, there were anything dangling as it went past that knob, it could certainly get caught on that knob.
Since this is a family- oriented site, we won’t go into further detail regarding the rest of the sordid story. Maybe we could just say that he went nuts when whatever happened, happened? Or, maybe that he got sacked? Or that his mood became a little testy afterwards?
Wait… This just in: I have just been notified that, “National Moon Day” is about the celestial object, not the backside- baring behavior I had thought. Boy, do I feel like a… donkey.
But, come on… wouldn’t it make more sense for, “Moon Day” to be observed on a different day of the week, other than Friday? I mean, come on… The day of the SUN would obviously be held on SUNday, so the day of the MOON , duh, obviously should have been on SATURDAY, which, in Latin, means, “The day named after where you sat.” Holding Moon day on a Friday? What lunarcy!
That’s okay… I’m not phased by that. But, you’ve got to wonder: What will the moon gibbous next? Will it leave us waning more? Ahh, this is only waxing philosophical, pondering… How does the man on the moon cut his hair…? Of course, eclipse it. What does he snack on? A croissant, of course… with bleu cheese. But, he can only eat a quarter of it, before he is full.
In the end, just remember this: While Smurfs may only compose a very small percentage of the population, they alone are responsible for the vast majority of Blue Moons. Ask any Amtrak engineer.