Glory, glory, hallelujah! Let freedom reign! It is INDEPENDENCE DAY!
I haven’t driven the roads today… let’s just assume their independence from hazards and problems, and move on to random stuff.
Okay, some of us are taking a day away from our “regular” jobs (“regular” being used in sort of the way that my elderly relatives like to talk about being “regular”), but will need to clock in again tomorrow. Of course, that’ll only be like a one-day-long workweek, with the weekend just on the other side of it. I can handle that… no biggie.
In addition to Independence Day, it’s ALSO National Caesar Salad day… I’m going to celebrate with a huge bowl of it… a grand mal Caeser!
And, on a day traditionally famous for backyard barbecuing, I give you National Barbecued Spareribs day. I never understood the difference between ribs, and spareribs. Those sound like just the “extra” ones, like that “extra” one that Adam had that eventually led to all this trouble.
So, I hit the Internet in search of knowledge. If you ask a hundred people for the answer, you’ll get 105 different answers… most, though seem to think that “spare” is in the name because the meat is found rather sparingly on them. (Yep… sometimes it’s like trying to gnaw the leather off of a steel-toed boot, and we all know how difficult THAT can be… Am I RIGHT?!?!?) Others say it’s because they are leftover after all of the good ribs have been harvested, while still others think that it’s because of Global Warming caused by Chevy Suburbans driven by Conservative white people. However… the answer I found to be most likely to be right is that the term comes from Germany, where in times of olde (which is way older than times of old, of this ye should be privy), this particular cut of meat and bone was called, “ribbesper.” Guten tag!
Here’s something many think, but are mistaken about: Did you know that Baby back ribs do NOT come from adorable lil’ “baby” pigs? They’re only called that because they are cut down to be smaller than the other racks… don’t you worry, they only come from big ol’ nasty GROWN-UP pigs.
So, there’s your random, oddball trivia for a day that so often overlooks pig parts and Roman-leader-inspired salads, and ye olde language juxtapositions and all, in favor of celebrating America’s independence and freedom!
And, in the news: the generosity of some people! A woman in Florida (Florida… really? Who’da thunk?!? Florida? For realsies?!?) recently garnered headlines for her sweet and selfless generosity: she tipped a server $5,000 on a $55 meal tab. Nice! Stories even reported how wonderful the timing of this was, given that the server had recently had some “hard times,” including recently being forced to put her dog down. But, new twist: the $5,000 “tip” was made using the “philanthropist’s” BOYFRIEND’S credit card… the boyfriend she is angry at, and looking for ways to cook his goose. He wasn’t there, and had NO idea that Miss Angrypants was going to throw a capricious extra $5,000 on his card. She used HIS credit card to be so very generous… which isn’t really all that generous. That’s like politicians getting credit for spending the money that you and I worked our donkeys off for. Whatever.
Now it’s really messy, too: the server has already been given the money, and spent much of it (when you are behind on bills and rent, and you get a small fistful of cash, it tends to go very, very quickly). But, the charge has been declared fraudulent, and the “generous” issuer has been arrested for grand freakin’ farceny larceny. At this point, nobody knows how it’ll all wash out.
Then there’s the woman in Texas (while I do not KNOW this, I’m betting that she’s probably originally from, oh, I don’t know… maybe… Freak Factory FLORIDA?!?) who has earned a ban from WalMart. See, the other day, as she perused the aisles of WalMart, she grabbed a cake from the shelf. Like MOST of us, duh, she crammed her face directly into that chocolate sugar bomb and ate HALF of the freakin’ thing right then and there. But, come on, who HASN’T done that, right… especially just after finishing up the toes on those work boots on aisle 14? Anyhow, when she got to the checkstand, this chick took a stand: she was only going to pay for HALF of the damn cake! I mean, come on… there’s only a half on the counter there… why should she have to pay for a whole cake?
Eventually, cops were summoned, and they agreed that this shining gem of a human would need to pay the price of a WHOLE cake, or face theft charges (in addition to chocolate-covered-face charges). It’s unclear what she “chose” as far as payment options, but she DID receive a ban from WalMart. It’s also unclear how long the ban is for: an hour? A week? A season of Real Housewives of Any City? Until Cardi B. speaks like an intelligent being? Until politics are honest?
Think about the fact that today will be the very last day that somebody in America will have 10 fingers… don’t be that guy. Also, the weekend will be upon us soon, and this’n will include Jamboree Days in Crestline. My first—and possibly only—destination there? I’m going to the Build-A-Beer booth.