This report brought to you by Rim Chiropractic
Good morning… the calendar and the clock say that Thursday started a few hours ago, will continue throughout the day, and will linger for a few more hours this evening. After that, there is a 100% chance of Friday happening, which should last for about 24 hours, before giving way to the weekend.
I’m speechless when it comes to the discussion on road conditions. I know… I could get inspeeched for that, but I swear, there’s just nothing to report.
Elon Musk recently announced that the upcoming Tesla roadster will have “afterburner rocket engines” hidden behind the license plate. Now, many are taking this claim seriously… but I’m quite convinced that it’s just a gag. I simply cannot see the possibility of such a thing becoming a reality that regular ol’ folks can purchase… well, regular ol’ folks, even with a few hundred grand to spend.
Musk is known for a little comedy… for example, the Model S and Model X can have performance enhanced with “Ludicrous Mode,” a very real software upgrade that makes the already-super-fast cars go even faster. Ludicrous Mode. Yes, it’s real… and an example of Musk’s sense of humor. Now, regarding the afterburners, my money says that this is just a gag, with no reality behind it.
In other car news, today is the day that Chevy has promised to unveil it’s next generation Corvette. This will be a radical departure from all previous generations: this one will be a mid-engine car… like super-exotics are. A few spy-shots of a camouflaged version of the car have been circulating on the ‘net, and indeed, the car looks really amazing. All previous Corvettes have been front-engine cars… this radical step towards the super-exotic realm seems to be pointing the car towards greater performance and handling capabilities. I must confess that I am interested in the unveiling, which is slated to happen in Tustin (Yes, California!) today! Standby for the making of Corvette history… the making of automotive history.
Ariana Grande is one of the many pop stars du jour. Only, alien conspiracy theorists recently noted that there have been FIFTY other performers named Ariana who have cracked the Billboard’s Top 100 lists over time… making her Ariana 51.
Today is National Caviar day. I noticed the other day that Lake Drive Hardware has caviar in little jars, in the fish bait cooler. It’s bright pink, and doesn’t actually read, “caviar” on the jar, but as far as I can tell, it’s freakin’ caviar. Bon Appetit!
Random tangent here… my first time consuming caviar (no, the caviar did not consume time… I consumed the caviar) was in a Nazi building. Well, it USED TO be a Nazi place, until U.S. Forces took possession of it towards the end of WWII. Berchtesgaden, Germany, was once a Nazi resort, meeting place, and residence. Adolph Hitler once owned a house there, and high ranking Nazis also spent a lot of time there. However, U.S. Forces bitch-slapped it away from them, and as a very intentional and deliberate way of adding insult to injury, converted most of the buildings into resorts for Americans. To this day, the U.S. military sends troops there for a little R&R. That, in fact, is what led to my excursion to Berchtesgaden.
At the luxury hotel there, guests are greeted at reception with a feast of fine and exotic foods, to include caviar. Now, while it’s really just fish eggs, it seems that caviar has earned quite a highfalutin reputation. Heck, here I am 30 years later, boasting about eating some fish eggs… probably ‘cause I reckon that’s about the fanciest thing I’ve ever done. Well, except for that time I rode in a stretch Pinto for a parade… damn my mullet looked good that day.
Oooh, dang… random tangent off a random tangent… just a thing I recall from that week I spent there: One of my buddies did a little too much drinking one night at the hotel. He stepped out onto a balcony, leaned over a little too far, and tipped right the heck over. To his credit, instead of falling three stories to his death, he was able to grab the railing as he went overboard, and hang on until others pulled him back up to safety… but the boozy bozo broke BOTH of his arms. Alive, sure… but both arms broken?! Let me assure you that this is exponentially worse than breaking just ONE arm. See, with ONE arm, at least you can still do a lot of things: You can still feed yourself, you can still drive, you can still operate the TV’s remote control. Heck, you can even bathe yourself, pick your nose, scratch your peanuts, and perform all restroom functions. However… when BOTH of your arms are broken, and you end up in a cast that keeps both of your arms strapped across your chest, straight-jacket style, well, that’s when you need a best friend. To this day, I feel fortunate that I was NOT Jake’s best friend. I still also feel great sympathy FOR Jake’s best friend, who heroically took over all of these duties for a few weeks (boy, was he wiped out…). Just… wow!
So kids, if you ever find yourself in Hitler’s luxury hotel, and you have a lot to drink (perhaps to wash down the caviar?), don’t go out on the balcony. And, perhaps even BETTER advice? Don’t let your best friend do that!