This report brought to you by Valor of the Lake Alarms
Welcome to Fridegg! The week seems to have gotten over easy enough, and the scramble to finish up is nearing its weekly end. It’ll be toasty hot once the sunny (side) is up, but we won’t be bacon like we have previously in the week… orange juice certainly glad for that?!? I know I ham. My apologies for milking this breakfast theme, but please donut blame me; even with ones you might have heard before: I’ll admit it… sometimes I’m a coffeecat.
Road conditions are not noteworthy, unless “easy” is the same as “noteworthy.” No rain, no ice, no rocks, no wind…. no chain control, no wrecks, STILL no emus, no sobriety checkpoints (that should be a relief to some!), no washed out bridges, washed up celebs, or even wash tubs. There is some very light fog towards the bottom of the hill, and apparently, I must advise you to watch out for some sort of military operation. At least, that’s what I gather from reports on the radio that say that the low-elevation haze is a Marine lair. It doesn’t really seem thick enough for that but maybe their camouflage uniforms are good enough to compensate for just thin fog. Whatever: watch out for Marines!
Today is National Flip-Flop day… and we’re going to discuss it in length here. No, wait… I don’t think we will. On second thought: we will. Oh, dang, maybe not. But really, we SHOULD… unless it’s NOT that important. So, let’s do it! No… let’s not after all. For sure not. Or maybe? I don’t know.
It’s INTERnational Bath day today. Man… every. Single. Freakin’. Year… we are expected to bathe. I’m not even dirty! In fact, I plan to skip this year’s festubities… no bath for me! I’m not about to be washed up.
And, in more patriotic themery, today is both National FLAG day, and the U.S. Army’s birthday. I spent four years wearing a flag for the U.S. Army, so both of these observances have meaning to me.
Flag day is specifically to commemorate the official adoption of our flag on June 14, 1777. Flag design has been modified, edited, redesigned and changed dozens of times since, but the basic design elements remain. Old Glory, Stars and Stripes, the Star-Spangled Banner… whatever the name, fly it proudly today. Hell, fly it proudly EVERY day, but give it some extra attention today.
So, random storytime: Hollywood has been scandalized over the past couple of years by revelations of sexual misconduct by the wealthy and famous within that industry. Among the higher profile cases to have surfaced are accounts of misconduct by Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Spacey, and Morgan Freeman. Now, just this week, somebody has accused Cuba Gooding Jr. of some sort of groping incident. The reason I bring up this list of actors is because I worked with ALL of them… on one single movie! The movie “Outbreak” cast all of these alleged deviants. I will say that I never witnessed any of the alleged misbehavior myself, but it sure seems that my “co-workers” on that project were different people behind the closed doors of their luxury trailers. Was this behavior contagious? Were they trying to sail the Seedy Sea? Did they all monkey around that way? Is it a sin drome? Who knows… maybe none of these desecrated were ever vaccinated from facts equated with being overrated.
Oh, more celeb stuff: The cage match to beat all cage matches has been called off. (Although… what if we got Nic Cage to fight Luke Cage?) Justin Bieber has retracted his challenge for Tom Cruise to meet him in the ring, or cage, or in a dogfight over Miramar Naval Air Station. For the record, it’s been said that Tom had declined the invitation already, saying, “I don’t hit girls.” The Biebs says that he was only joking. My guess though, is that whether joking or not, he knew he was cruisin’ for a bruisin’… or, it might have been that he had more important business to attend to, like getting his tips highlighted, or doing some super-important Tweeting, or being tearful about something. It’s also rumored that Bieber MEANT to challenge SIRI Cruise to a fight, but accidentally got hold of her dad. Oops. I’m bummed out, though, as I’d already imagined the scene: Tom Cruise in his jet fighter pilot gittup, shouting, “Show me the Money!!!,” all while jumping up and down and acting like the Biebs was Oprah’s couch.
Have a weekend, folks, and make it a great one. Fly the flag, maybe even bathe (if you feel the need to this year), make some breakfast-food puns for no particular reason other than maybe you are feeling like a cereal killer, but don’t be sexually misconductive, and don’t go around challenging people to fight if you aren’t going to put up. I’m not going to challenge anybody, for sure… ‘cept for maybe Justin Bieber. Or maybe his hairdresser. No, wait, I take it all back. You just never know… the guy could have biceps the size of my beer gut. I think maybe I’ll just keep my mouth shut. Dad always said, “Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”