Yikes! Today is… Thursday the 13th! Scary! Wait… are Thursdays the 13th scary, or is it just Fridays?
I know this is still a little far out, but fair warnings come long in advance: Don’t forget that this year, for only the 10th time in history, Halloween will fall on Friday the 13th! Crazy!
Roads offer few thrills today… there’s just nothing on ‘em to warn you about. Rocks and ice and rain and fog are on the very long list of stuff that isn’t part of the commute hazards today. Put the car in drive, make sure that you steer when you come to a curve, and stop whenever you see red lights or red octagons in front of you. You’ll arrive at work soon enough.
Weather reports, incidentally, call for cooler temps today, so take heart in that. I don’t think that we’ll end up with any chain control conditions or cold weather warnings, but it seems that the sweltering broil we’ve had for a few days here, might temper down.
Today, National Sewing Machine day looms. May I gather that we all needle-ittle darn humor? I hear you piping up… pleating for some puns! Okay… but I’ll treadle softly, sew as not to alter the mood too much, even if it seams stressful. But eye still want to put you in stitches without any hemming and hawing, so just pay close attention to the pattern here. See, I’m a writer… not a singer.
Isn’t it strange… back in the 90’s, we learned NOT to get into cars with strangers. Then, in the next decade, we learned that it isn’t wise to be alone when meeting people from the Internet. Then, along came Uber, and now we use the Internet to request a stranger to bring a car that we will get into alone.
When I get gas, I usually use my ATM card at the pump. This requires that I enter my PIN. How come it is, without exception, that the beep tones do not correspond with my button presses? The confirmation beep lets me know that a button has been successfully pressed… but on the pump keypads, only about every second or third keystroke generates a beep, but then sometimes one keystroke will generate TWO beeps… even though the numeric entry is still correct. Is there some actual reason why gas pump PIN entry is ALWAYS this way?
So, current events: Reports have come in that just a few hours ago, two oil tankers were torpedoed in the Strait of Hormuz (the “opening” to the Persian Gulf, not to be confused with the chili bean manufacturer’s channel, the “Strait of Hormel”). All crew have been safely evacuated from both ships, which are now both bobbing around in the ocean, after sustaining heavy damage. They were corporate tankers, but nobody knows who did the torpedoing. What we DO know is the following: Our gasoline prices will rise dramatically; Maxine Waters is drawing up impeachment papers this very moment; Democrats will call for more gun control; and this is PROOF of global warming, Russian collusion, and the need to release more convicts from California prisons by raising taxes.
I guess the theory that Melania Trump uses a body double for photo shoots and travel has been resurrected. Apparently, many people believe that the Melania we see is not Melania, but instead we focus on a hocus-pocus bogus FLOTUS we notice before us.
Remember the performers called Milli Vanilli? They were a duo that put out a few hit songs in the 80’s. Until, one day, it was revealed that they were fake. I always thought that was weird… because SOMEBODY sang those songs and made that music… just not the two guys who were paraded out on stage to lip-sync those songs. I could never figure out why the actual singers of the songs were not revealed, or shown, or given a chance at fame and fortune. I see online that the actual performers sort of tried… they even started a band called “The Real Milli Vanilli,” but they never got big.
Eventually, one of the fake guys just lost everything, possibly as a result of his fall from grace. He turned to drugs and crime, even street level assaults and robberies. He did a little jail time but was eventually found dead in a hotel room, overdosed on drugs and booze. The other frontman, I understand, has tried for the last nearly 30 years to break back into fame, but with little success.
You may recall that Saddam Hussein used to keep a number of doppelgangers near him. This was so that in the event of an assassination attempt, it would decrease his own odds of being successfully targeted. I guess he should have used a double when he crawled into the spider hole, too, huh?
I heard that Steven Tyler from Aerosmith sometimes pays Julia Roberts to impersonate him on stage.
That’s all the random I’ve got in me for today, folks… but we’ll do it again tomorrow, with more dad jokes (yep… apparently, that’s a thing now), observations of the odd, sombitchin’n’whinin’, puns, and maybe—juuuuust maybe—some small fragments of useful information. But for sure, that last part is only a remote possibility… no promises on that.