Tuesday is by now well under way… time to roll. It’s now justin time to cruise to work and fight the traffic… but please be berry careful, Tom. Wait… I MEANT to advise that Justin be berry careful as Tom cruises to work. There… THAT was the one-two punch I was aiming for.
Roads conditions are a yawner today… try as I may, there were no hazards to report. No fog, no rain, no wind, very, very, very little ice… it’s gonna be a blazin’ hot day: we’ll sizzle, fo’ shizzle… but other than melting the pavement and turning it into a strip of molten lava, we got nothin’. Plus, the lava won’t be until later in the day… for your morning commute, it’s all peachy.
I currently have a vehicle for sale on Craigslist. It is so. Freakin’. Annoying… to get so. Many. Email. Responses… that say, “hello and hoping at your item is still of sell please contact me for the sale details of item you have for sell.”
Come on… if you are going to try to rip me off, why not invest three minutes, for starters, in a canned message that is readable in English? Second of all, can’t you figure out some way to insert the actual name of the item I have “for sell” into the body of your scam email instead of just referencing it as “item”? I mean, of course I’m glad that these scammers are utterly bumbling in their efforts, and I’m not terribly surprised (those born stupid become scammers and criminals; those born genius become brain surgeons, rockets scientists, and road report writers). But, it’s really annoying to weed through the sheer volume of responses, trying to find actual legit responses from people who have a genuine interest in purchasing my… item. I guess I’m glad that the idiot scammers make it reasonably easy.
So, a few weeks ago, I received a credit card. I had applied for it, qualified for some good promotional rates, and had the new card sent to my P.O. Box in Crestline. Well, a few days later, the credit card company sent me an email, asking if I’d like to add any additional users to my account, and if so, the company would issue a card to that person. I wanted to add Mrs. Kdog to the account, so I entered all of the important information.
However… when it asked where to mail the card, and I entered our P.O. Box number, the red text came out, and I was sternly advised that cards can NOT be sent to P.O. Boxes, thank-you very much. No way… only to street addresses… which, as most mountain residents know, will NOT happen, as mail addressed to street addresses here is almost always returned to sender. I tried the usual tricks, like having it sent to “1234 Pobox Street,” but the very clever software they use called me out, saying that this address is NOT recognized as valid.
Now, my original card came to my P.O. Box… but to request that an additional card be sent to the same address? Well, now I’ve crossed some line, apparently. I am aware that a lot of businesses equate the use of P.O. Boxes with criminal activity: I’ve had a number of people explain that this is why P.O. Boxes are so often denied service (even, frequently, from businesses that use a P.O. Box as their own mailing address!). The fact that mountain residents don’t have the luxury of home delivery is of little concern to them… too bad, so sad, egad.
I remember Richard Nixon, so many years ago, when accused of having a P.O. Box, responding to the allegation: “I am not a criminal.” Words for us mountain residents to proudly state, when denied delivery of random items and mail.
Oh, vaguely related: I’ve also ordered items with home delivery arrangements, delivered by UPS, or FedEx, or others. I have been denied THOSE deliveries on occasion, because my street address is not yet registered as valid… my house is too new, and the address is still “in the process of being officially recognized.” Those are the words that have been used to describe why a shipper has denied delivering to my house… my house, built in 1940. Yeah… just too new.
So, the fight of the century—the war of the world—has been challenged: Justin Bieber, the delicate and sensitive pop singer, has challenged Tom Cruise—a man old enough to be his pop—to a fist fight. The age difference is like Knight and day. Bieber has used social media to publicly taunt Tom Cruise… but nobody really knows why Bieber wants to fight Cruise, especially since it seems like an impossible mission. Now, in spite of Tom being waaaaaaay older, it still seems like risky business to get in a ring with the guy. Tom’s got all the right moves, and in the ring might be quite a reacher. My money is on Bieber’s jaw going all shattered glass, him laying there in oblivion with his eyes wide shut staring up at the vanilla sky. He’s asking for the days of tropic thunder… but I’ll bet far and away that Bieber is the one who taps out as soon as he starts losin’ it.
Incidentally, I submit my entry for the name of this fight: Rock of Ages. Bam. Came up with that one myself, I did. Plus, I’m a real good driver…. And Wapner’s on at five.
Oddly, this challenge to a fight has inspired others to make seemingly random challenges: Gregor McConor—wait, no—Conor McGregor… has challenged Mark Wahlberg to a fight. This could be the perfect storm, a fighter going up against THE fighter! Who’d be in fear… and who’d be the rock star? Oh, never mind… the movie references are getting to be just a funky bunch of gags.
Whatever. I attended a fight a while back… at one point, a hockey game broke out.
Okay, everybody back to your corners. We’ve got a boogie night ahead, then the edge of tomorrow will be upon us… and then you get another (minority?) road report!