Good morning, Tuesday travelers… time for you Americans to get behind the wheel, and hit the road, Jack. Even if we don’t wanna, Ricotta go to work. Camem Bert, as your town gruyere, I’ve stilton gotta give the road conditions.
There’s no rain, no snow, no ice. No cheesy puns for this paragraph, either, because the weather is so medium in nature… nothing extreme. It’s a dairy easy ride today. A wisp of Humbolt Fog towards the bottom of the hill… but not enough to hinder your headway.
Today is National Cheese day. Now, I may live in a mere cottage, and I may not be the head cheese, but clearly I am a man of wheys and means… a fully mature man of culture. So today, we celebrate cheese. There’s a lot to cover, manchego… I don’t want anybody melting down here. Stay sharp, my friends… in fact, stay extra sharp.
Even the pets can get in on National Cheese day… depending on the nature of your house pets, you may want to bring home some purrmesan, or even some muttsarella cheese.
There was storm on the French coast… a cheese factory there was obliterated. Afterwards, they found nothing but de brie.
Now, the cleanup was a major task, but they got International help. One of France’s European neighbors even sent in some of their jack-of-all trades folks: no, not the Kurds… all they did was just string them along. Instead, it was the Swiss Army cheese that came to help. And they only sent ONE of them… he didn’t need a whole brigade to prove his worth: this, he was able to provolone.
I’ll admit… I like cheese. Especially cheddar. Some might even classify it as an addiction, but, really… it’s only mild. I’m also a fan of Bleu cheese… that one’s a moldy but goodie, there. I like Edam, too… which, incidentally, is the ONLY cheese that’s MADE backward! Swiss, on the other hand, seems to give off this “holier than thou” attitude, which sort of cheeses me off… it grates on my nerves.
I made macaroni and cheese recently but forgot to use the stupid colander. Now, Mrs. Kdog has taken out a restraining order, but I don’t rind.
I invented my own craft cheese… it’s tailored specifically for giant Asian movie monsters. It’s a bean-flavored take on an old favorite, and it only comes in copious volumes. It’s the gargantuan Godzilla Garbanzo Gorgonzola. Gadzooks! It’s best in a sandwich… a grilled grinder, of course.
Cheese Whiz, we’re already at the crescenza this festival of cheese puns… just one final curdle to cross. Hopefully, you were fondue the wordplay, and don’t feel like they were just as bad as potatoes all rotten. Admit it, some were grater than others, while some were just gouda than others, even if they were nacho favorite. Just don’t think of me as some sort of a muenster. I really have only the best of intentions… from my head to my feta to my infamous Ron White cheese wheel.
‘K, so, it’s time for the picture: you know what to say.