Good morning, California commuters! This morning, roads are dry, and skies are clear. It is a little chilly, with temps even approaching the freezing point in my humble ‘hood. However… dry! I have a hard time imagining ice anywhere on our pile of rocks. In any case, if you DO see dark patches of pavement that indicate moisture, be sure to goose the throttle right there, because that’s a freebie fun time.
The wind continues… The south-facing side of the mountain that I descended from had some pretty solid gusting. I did not, however, see any roadway rocks. Just be advised that they could manifest themselves at any time.
Okay, here’s the crazy part… on the radio this morning, the forecast for tonight—not a week from now, or last month, or ten months from now—TONIGHT… is that we could get “up to an inch of snow”! My guess is that the radio station’s newsroom is probably cluttered, with tipped-over coffee cups everywhere, and pizza boxes leaving little grease stains on paperwork. There are probably a couple of sweat-stained neckties from ranting radio personalities who have discarded them in moments of on-air outrage, and maybe even a random shoe. I don’t know why… I just picture a single shoe. Anyhow… I’ll bet in that pigsty of a broadcast booth, they just picked up a forecast paper from a couple of months ago. They read some February weather stuff. ‘Cause, today? Snow? Really? I mean maybe… but my cluttered newsroom theory seems a lot more valid than freakin’ snow tonight. We’ll see: bottom line is that if it does NOT snow tonight, I’m reporting those filthy, disgusting (but entertaining!) slobs to the health department.
So, when a person is visiting one of the 50 U.S. states, it is sometimes said that he is “in state.” Or, world travelers may even have their location announced by saying that they are “in country.” Me, I’m not so comfortable with such specific information. I will only go as far as to say that I am in continent.
Just a heads up for Crestline residents: There is a noisy, white pickup truck loaded with slimeballs that has been seen and reported by MANY people over the past few days, driving slowly around Crestline streets at night, looking like they are “casing joints.” The reason it looks this way is because what they are really doing is, “casing joints.” Residents have caught these filthy scumbags on video attempting break-ins to cars and houses, but as far as I know, as of Thursday morning, they have not been taken into custody… yet. So… keep an eye out, and do what needs to be done if you find them redistributing wealth, dirtbag style. For most, this means to call 9-1-1, but hey… I’m not a guy who’s opposed to creative means of handling these situations. You’ll never find me offering a vote of “guilty” to anybody who stops a thief. MY jury would give you a free pass, AND a medal.
Today is National Barbershop Quartet day… Barbershop quartet day… Barbershop Quartet Day…. BARBERSHOP QUARTET DAY-EEEEE-AAAAYYYYYYYY!!!
Today is also National Eight Track Tape day. This is merely proof that this “National Day” thing is a little out of control. Eight track tapes sucked back in the day, and they suck today. There’s not much to be said for eight tracks other than good riddance. Why a national day? No, really, that’s a question, not even remotely hypothetical, speculative, or suppositional: I really would like to know why anybody would ever celebrate these things.
Oh, it’s National Alcohol Screening day. I know. I’m a bad man, with a childish attitude that reeks of irresponsibility… and booze. But I’ll go ahead and say it: I have every intention of screening some alcohol when I get home from work today. I’ll screen some beer, maybe some wine, perhaps even a shot or two of the hard stuff. As a writer taking the politically-incorrect approach towards booze, maybe that makes me Ernest Hemingway… or Edgar Allen Poe… or Truman Capote. Wait… was he a gangster? Or was he a president? Oh, never mind… all this booze I’m screening adles my brain.
Okay, and here’s a way-out-of-left-field comment: why don’t we have any cemeteries on the mountain? And before you eagerly read on, anticipating my answer, be aware that I do NOT have an answer… I’m asking because I don’t know. It seems strange, given that there have been settlements on our mountains since the 1800’s, and I’m betting that most of those inhabitants are not alive today. Is every single person who perishes on the mountain carted down to the flat parts of the Inland Empire?
The mountains seem like an ideal place for a cemetery, too. Not that I plan on a lot of sensory perception, or appreciation of sweeping views when I’m gone, but I rather prefer the idea of being buried on a mountain, as opposed to, you know, “down there.” Plus, clearly, the farther I am from WAY “down there,” the better, of course.
Dirt is dirt… it’s not as if we lack suitable dirt to bury people. I’m simply surprised to have it recently brought to my attention that there are no cemeteries on the mountain. From Big Bear to Cedarpines Park… nothing. It’s a grave disservice to deny us mountain burials.
Not even in Belleville! Oh, you’ve never heard of Belleville? There isn’t a lot of it left these days… even though at one time, it was the second most populated CITY in San Bernardino County. At one time, it was under serious consideration to become the county seat of the largest county in the U.S.! It’s located near Big Bear… there ain’t much left o’ the ol’ place, ‘cept fer one small settler’s cabin, and the “hangin’ tree.” (Really… a lot of people were hanged on this tree.) All other evidence of this once large community has been dismantled, hauled away, or eaten up by time and decay. The spot where the city sat, now looks like a pristine meadow, with no evidence of the many (17 of them, I believe) saloons, the brothels, the Chinese laundries, the banks, even the schools and the newspaper presses… or the thousands of people who lived and died there.
Anyhow… I’ve digressed from my concern about the lack of cemeteries. But come on… couldn’t Belleville have at least left us with some cool old timey cemetery? Apparently not… maybe we need to start thinking about getting one going up here!
So, watch for snow… if you see some, please contact the MountainReporter offices, and I’ll cancel my plans to turn the radio station in to the authorities for health code violations. I’m super skeptical about the chances of snow… but, on the other hand, I’m the same guy who cannot possibly fathom that anybody would give eight track tapes their very own day.