WOW! It’s slicker’n snot on a doorknob today! (My apologies for such crude and vulgar language, right out of the gate, but I’m going to take it one step further and offer the excuse that I know lots of other, even worse, countrified colloquialisms that I haven’t even exposed you to. Partly because I’m very classy and dignified, and partly because my editor would fire me for it.)
Okay, back to the roads: Yesterday’s ice did as expected: The top layer melted, then refroze (temps are mid 20’s in Crestline this morning), leaving a super-slick, polished ice glaze on everything. Now, a lot of the roadway is actually dry, dusty pavement, but the ice is found in abundance in shady areas, drainage areas… and random areas.
Quick recap of ice driving tips: Go fast UPhill, slow DOWNhill, and do not spin your wheels. Just don’t. When your wheels are spinning, there is NO traction (that’s sort of the definition of “spinning wheels,” in that it means “loss of traction”). Most modern cars have what is called, “Traction control,” which is a feature that prevents wheelspin… this is an amazingly good feature to have in snow and ice. Use it. Love it. Marvel at it. Do NOT disable it. Don’t spin your wheels. ESPECIALLY don’t spin your wheels when you have chains or cables installed. Never ever ever. I know, the sparks look sort of cool… I’ll give you that. However, your fenders will cost $800 each just for parts (not counting labor, paint, or rental car… but when you DO have your bodywork done, go to Davis Auto Body in Crestline… they do amazing work, and they are a class act), you’ll have to replace your chains, and it won’t help you at all. Don’t spin your wheels.
Okay, from Top Town and down on Highway 138, roads are very dry, but with a couple of small “surprise” patches of ice. They aren’t big, but may startle you briefly when you encounter them. Of special note is a small frozen stream under the Crestline Bridge… it’s no biggie, but could lead to problems if you happen to have selected that location for upper limit G-Force testing of your McLaren… or your Hyundai, or your Winnebago. Okay, Highway 18’s descent from there isn’t too bad, but you WILL still encounter a few random, but small patches of ice. The Bonnie Bridges are very dry, though, so they are not the usual high-concern areas today.
Somebody left the front end of their car along Highway 138 going down from Top Town… if you drive a white car, and only HALF of it is white now because the front half of your car is gone, well, it’s waiting for you. You can’t miss it.
There’s not a wisp of fog, the rocks seem to be frozen in place, and thus far this morning, no motorists have pointed the finger at aliens as the cause of any accidents… unlike last week, when this was apparently an issue for a motorist who crashed his car near Red Rock Wall. The story, frankly, seems a little difficult to believe, and police would like to question a pair of Nigerian brothers seem running from the scene with a small length of rope and a bottle of bleach.
FYI, Bernie Sanders is back, and running for president… again. It seems that he plans to team up with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and give free stuff to everybody, with no need to work. AOC’s plan is already brilliantly working its magic, as she took the first step in the elimination of jobs by chasing 25,000 of them away from her constituents. That was a close one, too: If those jobs had become available, those people may have had to WORK, which is hard and stuff. Fortunately, these people can now continue to reap the benefits that AOC has promised, in which the government pays for most stuff, and taxes cover the rest. Anyhow, Bernie is back, and we can ALL plan to retire soon!