Kdog’s Daily Report, 01/21/19

Good morning, commuters! I am currently reporting from Rancho Cucamonga… where skies are clear, roads are dry, and aside from the temps, one might think it a typical summer morning. This is such a polar opposite of what the mountain commute is!

First off, there’s fog today, and it ain’t no joke. It’s heavy all over the rim, with only an occasional patch here and there of moderate. This heavy fog does not even begin to thin until Upper Waterman Canyon Road’s exit… but, within a mile or two of your continued descent from there, you will drop through the floor of it, and find clarity.

The rain is heavy, too… bucketfuls of it. I am told by sources on the mountain (in order to be perfectly transparent, I will admit here that I am even sleeping with one of them) that since my early morning departure, parts of the mountain have begun receiving slush, hail, even straight-up snow… sorry, straight down snow. Now, my ASSUMPTION is that the water on the road is going to prevent the snow from taking serious purchase, and in addition, I will also guess that the weather will git itself moved right along, little doggie, before we get any notable accumulations. Now, I am speaking only for the Crestline area and downbound, as this is the only area that I have personally put eyes on this morning, and all speculation is JUST speculation… spectacular speculation as it may be. Readers should assume that higher elevations WILL have colder temps, and that conditions will be different there.

Rocks are making their way to the roadway this morning, too… the ground is still a little soft from last week’s rain, and the deluge we got this morning is encouraging that soil to edge further away from “soft soil” and ever closer to “sloppy mud.” Sloppy mud expels rocks and sends them out on tour, where those same surly stones will try to rip your oil pan off and shred your tires, like rock stars trashing a hotel room. Today I recommend sticking to the left lane as much as possible, on the four-lane section of Highway 18, because the right lane gets 90% of the rocks. In the fog, they’re tough to see until it’s too late. Through the Narrows, just take it a little slower than your usual speed (unless, of course, your usual speed is already ungodly slow, in which case, please stay home today), and keep your trigger-foot ready to hit the brakes as soon as wayward geology appears before you.

So, I generally don’t write about things as intimate as, say, grooming and personal care. However, last night was really strange, and I gotta talk about it.

See, last night, it seemed time for a haircut… I cut my own hair, as I’m a dude, my hair is short, and I’ve always lived by the advice that Dad gave me: “The only difference between a bad haircut and a good one is three days.” Really… even if I do screw it up, well, three days from now, it’ll be NBD. Oh, and I HAVE screwed it up before… but hey, I’m saving $15 every time I cut my own!

So, using the electric trimmers, I trimmed one side, then the other… but then it looked like the first side needed a little more… so I redid that… but I guess I went too short, and had to do side #2 AGAIN. Well, then I noticed that my freakin’ ARMS were a little hairy… I’d never shaved THEM before, but I guess there was reason to now. I shaved my arms… but then noticed that it had been a while since I trimmed my fingernails… or my toenails. So, I took a break from the hair clipping, and gave this man a mani, and this ped a pedi. Wait… that totally did not sound right. Whatever… I cut my nails, all 20 of them. But then, holy smokes… my hair! I noticed that it STILL looked a little shaggy, so back to work I went with the clippers… until I nicked an edge of my ear and involuntarily HOWLED. Yup… howled. Something I did a number of times during the rest of my haircut, which eventually included my legs, my chest, even my back!

Suddenly, it all dawned on me… and away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash: and there ‘twas… THE WOLF BLOOD SUPER MOON!

Hope you didn’t miss it… it was rather cool. Last night we had a total lunar eclipse, during a “super” phase (wait, phase? Is that right?), meaning that it was unusually close to the planet we are on, on a night designated as a “wolf moon,” for being the first full moon of the year. The “blood” descriptor was because of the reddish hue that the moon assumed during the totality phase (still not sure that “phase” is right, here).

Anyhowl, I’m sort of tired today… I feel like I’ve been up all night. Ironically, I am exceedingly well-groomed this morning, and feel younger: last night, I felt a little long in the tooth… today, not so much. Maybe because of my New Year’s resolution to exorcise regularly or maybe because I’m excited about the notion of taking an impromptu trip to London… whatever the case, today, BRAM! I feel totally stokered, Jack!