I didn’t see THAT coming. There’s a frog on the toad… Wait, that’s not right… There’s a frog in my throat! Wait… Nope… Still doesn’t sound right… Frog on the road? No, wait, got it… There’s fog on the road!
Fog is present today, all the way down to around 1,000 feet. Starting near Red Rock wall below Rimforest, it’s patchy and mostly light with a few thick patches from Panorama Point to Lower Waterman. The lightest gets is about like the Claritin commercial, before the camera operator takes his dose of Claritin to clear things up but it can get to eye squinting and speed reducing levels. Make sure your headlights are on to prevent the auto-fog camouflage effect from kicking in and obscuring the view of your vehicle to other drivers. It’ll slow you down today, but nothing to stay home over.
The roads ARE very slippery, though… The moisture in the air and the very light sprinkles that are falling (you will need to use your wipers occasionally) have made the road surface very slick, but there’s not enough precipitation to actually wash the dirt and oil off the road. The roads are pretty slippery all over the mountain and even into the flat parts of the valley. Be aware, be careful.
So in the middle of last night, ArntiPritty woke me up… She said, “Kdog, I think there’s a bat in the room!” (I’m kidding, of course: she doesn’t REALLY call me “Kdog;” In this traditional Amish household, I insist that she calls me, “Mr. Kdog Sir”.)
I responded that, indeed we do have a bat in the room, over there in the corner. It’s to dispatch any burglars that actually make it past the dozens of other Indiana Jones movie style, fortress defense mechanisms in place in the castle.
But, she persisted, saying that she meant the flying kind of bat.
I turned the light on and yep… Sure enough there was a bat flying around in our bedroom. It had apparently echo-located our open bedroom window, and had assumed this to be the fine rectangular opening to a cave, where it could enter, shed its red satin cape, crawl into a coffin, and go to sleep for the day.
So my wife, being a female and all, hid under the blankets. I, being the warrior of the clan, chose to hide behind one end of the couch, in a defensive position I call the, “Quivering half-squat,” punctuated by frequent, strategic “ducking” maneuvers.
All of the windows in the bedroom were open… it seemed like the best strategy here was to wait it out and let the bat find one of those windows. All he had to do was fly out of one of the many exits provided to him.
Of course, I realize we did not have a lot to fear. If, perhaps, one of us had been bitten by the six-inch long fangs (dripping with the blood of previous victims), I’m sure that modern medicine has ways to prevent the victim from actually becoming a bat OR a vampire. And, our local bats are not really THAT terrifying either, as they are designed to suck all of the fluids out of animals the size of cows and werewolves. They hardly ever carry humans off into the night, and rabies only occurs in less than 99% of the glancing bites. Besides, this one was small, not much bigger than a bald eagle.
I wanted to grab a wooden stake to drive through its heart (see, I know my biology and know how to eliminate bat threats) but alas, I had forgotten to OWN a wooden stake. Next best option was my flame-thrower, so I whipped that out and went to work trying to kill it with fire. Unfortunately, the bat deftly avoided the flames and all that happened was that the clothing in my closet caught fire.
Of course, that last part was a totally made up lie, strictly for entertainment purposes. OF COURSE all of my clothing is flame proof, just in case of events like this.
Well, as I continued to perform my quivering half-squat, I realized that this creature wasn’t THAT scary. It’s fangs were not quite 6 inches long… I actually couldn’t see them. I remembered that our local bats actually only eat bugs — tiny ones at that — and this bat was no bigger than a sparrow… or a hummingbird, maybe a moth. Maybe this was a moth. I don’t know. But hey, if it was a moth, it was at least big for a moth, so there’s that.
Whatever the case, it finally found a window and was gone. Of course, over the next few days (and especially when full moons are out and about) both of us will keep an eye out for signs of going vampire, and I am FOR SURE getting a wooden stake for the bedroom… you just can’t be too careful about these things.