So, today’s road report is similar to yesterday’s in that it isn’t based off of any actual observation of road conditions whatsoever. Kdog and his third- person references have not left the house today, and will not be doing so until much later.
However, some jerk woke me up today, before I intended to be awakened. It happened a few minutes before 5:00 AM, so I suppose it wasn’t any earlier than a typical “day off” for me, but still… that jerk woke me up. And from what I hear, that jerk was all the way out in Cabazon!
But, maybe I’m just cranky… Yeah…. that’s probably it. Okay, here’s the up- close and personal thing. I hope this is not TMI, but the reason I haven’t been running my usual commute is because I’ve been waylaid by the joys of something very similar to a poison oak reaction. It’s covered a pretty significant portion of my body. I’m itchy, and not as pretty as usual… even the “12- Months of Kdog in Speedos” calendar shoot has been postponed (plus, they want me to drop 45 lbs, have some dental work, be 25 years younger, get a tan, get hair implants, muscle up, and look more like Zach Efron… no biggie, I’ll get to work as soon as this poison oak thing is over).
Another reason for my crankiness might be the injections and meds the docs are giving me: I got hemorrhoids injected into my left butt cheek! Wait… that doesn’t sound right. Hold on, let me go ask my wife what the injections were.
I’m back… Sorry, not hemorrhoids, it was STEROIDS. That’s right… well, I knew it was SOME sort of ‘roids. Yep, they shot that into my left butt cheek, fo’ shizzle… and I’m taking steroid pills, too. I’m told that the ‘roids might even lead to spelling errors in titles of daily blogs, in case I’m into that sort of thing. I’m also waiting for the ‘roid rage I hear about to kick in. I’m a little worried about the next full moon, too: I am positively going to have my wife handcuff me and tie me up (no, not for THAT, you pervs!) ahead of time so I don’t go full werewolf all over town. But, hey, I AM looking forward to the explosive muscle growth… calendar shoot, here I come! Thank- you, ‘roids! (Hey, when that explosive muscle growth kicks in, it doesn’t always turn a person green, right? I’m just not sure how ‘roids really work…)
Okay, final thought: So we had a lil’ quaking this morning… I strongly doubt that this will lead to any rocks or rockslides. I used to wonder about whether or not a decent shaking might encourage some of the more precariously- perched pebbles and their bigger siblings to tumble down onto the road, but I have never seen it. Rain, wind, and especially the combination of the two seem to be the cause of the vast majority of rock relocation events… but earthquakes? Nope. I’ve never seen an earthquake bring a single rock to our highways here. So, my GUESS is that you won’t have any worries on your commute today, at least none related to rocks. But, maybe I’m mistaken: These ‘roids just might have me all kinds of crazy.
You are such a great blogist! Is that a word? My spellcheck wants to call you a biologist. 🙂