Good morning… ’tis Thursday, and ’tis an easy drive. The commute is not cold, no precipitation had precipitated your commute, and the wind seems to have wound down. No rocks seem to have rolled, and fire is far. You’ll survive your drive alive… and that’s no jive.
The Internet is outraged today: the Internet is clapping back, according to… the Internet.
You see, Kim and Kanye (Do they need last names? Of course not… although I must admit that I feel some weird guilt about being a person who even talks about them…) have outraged the Internet: they hired private firefighters to save their home from the recent (well… CURRENT) fires in Southern California. They also tipped the fellas a little extra to protect the homes of their neighbors. Apparently, the Internet is mad because, well, why should RICH people get to do this?
Wow… great point. I’ve also noticed how unfair it is that only rich people get to drive Ferraris, live in mansions, and vacation on the French Riviera EVERY year. (Or is it IN the French Riviera? It’s so out of my league, I wouldn’t even know how to SAY I’d gone there!) Only the rich get to wear $700 t-shirts, or own dogs worth more than my car. Maybe IT IS time for all of them to give these luxuries up… because it’s just not fair!
On the other hand… nobody can quite say HOW it’s not fair, since presumably their money was fairly and legally earned. And, there is no reason that I can see for people to amass huge piles of money, other than to be able to have nicer stuff, do bigger things, and enjoy special privileges. If having large amounts of money did not provide these benefits, why would anybody even try to make money?
Somehow… the angry Internet feels that it isn’t fair… but this is the same Internet inhabited by irrational fantasy dwellers who generally disdain the idea of ANYBODY having wealth… they feel that it should be distributed to those who have not earned as much… worked as hard… been as fortunate.
Seems like there’s a word for that philosophy… the one where the wealthy have to give up what they’ve earned, and give it to the poor… and it also seems like some societies have tried this before, only to find that financial collapse follows right on the heels of people learning that there’s really no motivation to work hard, to produce, to excel. Most people subjected to that model soon discover that they need exert NO effort whatsoever, and they still get just as much benefit as those who bust their knuckles 24/7… so why work at all? Soon, government and police must forcefully motivate people to work… or else. Soon after that, everything goes to hell. Oh, yeah… that’s called Socialism… or Communism.
So, don’t let the angry bees on the Internet convince you that Kim and Kanye are bad people for hiring private fire protection. Kim and Kanye might still be bad people… I don’t have any idea. But it’s certainly not because they have enough money to hire private firefighters. They did it because they CAN… and, they even threw in a lil’ sump’n sump’n for their neighbors, a generous gift. The upset and outraged haters on the Internet are people who spend their days living on the Internet… not in reality. They have no idea that human nature is the critical element missing from the utopian formulas that might make Socialism or Communism seem wonderful… but human nature IS a powerful and driving force… and it’s GOOD that people are motivated to succeed.
Finally, remember this about the Internet… this is a place where it doesn’t matter WHAT is said: there will be haters. One could mention that their neighbor went and fed orphaned Girl Scouts, using his own money… and you’ll find people on the Internet willing to tear him to shreds for a dozen reasons. You can state that you love the sunny day, the pretty flowers, and the birds chirping outside your window… but, the Internet will bring you a hundred people to express in no uncertain terms that you are a person far worse than the monster birthed by the unholy union of Adolph Hitler and Charles Manson (but then, ironically and moronically, you’ll also find a hundred people who firmly believe that Hitler and Manson were pretty good guys). The Internet is a vile place… if you let it be.
What did people even DO, though, before the Internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters, and they have no idea.
My advice? Ignore the angry, the stupid, the antagonistic. The Internet has SO much potential… potential to share knowledge, to socialize, to help. Yet, it is tainted by a small percentage of people with very low intellect and underdeveloped maturity, and a strong desire to bully others. Again, my advice: just ignore them. The advice was given by your parents when you were in elementary school, to “just ignore the bully…” But that was WAY easier said than done, given that the kid was in your face, removing the money from your pocket before giving you that swirly. But the Internet is different: the same protection that Internet bullies find in anonymity and not being physically “there,” is the same benefit that YOU have… you CAN simply ignore them. Don’t reply, don’t get mad, don’t forward their messages… they are simply too worthless to spend one iota of your time, energy, thought or emotion on.
Okay… so that was weird… today, this column turned into some sort of editorial commentary on social behaviors. Weirder yet, I appeared to boldly defend Kim and Kanye… surely I must have made a quantum leap into a different dimension. Or maybe it’s just my IDS flaring up… Irritable Dude Syndrome. Let me try to wrap up with something a little more Kdoggish… like, asking if you know the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts. Well, beer nuts are about a dollar and a half… while deer nuts are just under a buck.