Today’s road report is very little ‘road report,’ beyond the routine statement of nothing to report. Rocks and bears and fog and ice and fire are all things that are not part of the commute today, at least not for us folks who live or work on THIS particular big pile of dirt. It’s dry and clear today… I think there is some deodorant that advertises itself that way, but OUR dry and clear somehow seems way more palatable.
Now, we’re supposed to start the 120- dump- trucks- hauling- dirt thing today… so there will be that a little later. But for the morning commute, so far, no issues.
But, this writer is having a tough time. Hey, first world problems are real, man… and I got ‘em. In fact, the Kdoghouse is in crisis mode right now, because we have a new Challenger parked in the driveway… and— get this— we STILL haven’t come up with what vanity plate to order! People accuse me of having the benefit of, “Write Privilege,” but come on… I do suffer… obviously.
First off, please note that I do not have a plate that reads, “KDOG.” For some reason— I have no idea why— people seem to think that I do… I wonder why that is? Some even say, “I’ve seen it somewhere…” (Remarkably (or not), SOMEBODY in the state of California already has the plate that reads, “KDOG,” so, maybe it really has been spotted out there in the wild.)
However… I heard somebody say recently that it should be a law that all vanity plates should be FUNNY… and in my book, if there’s not at least a DOUBLE meaning to a plate— and preferably more meanings than that— then it is “weak” on the funny scale. So, my focus has been on plates that are more than simply a name or a word with singular meaning.
I thought about, “K DODGE…” But, OBVIOUSLY, paparazzi would follow me everywhere, fans would create traffic problems when they spotted my ride, and my security and publicity teams would certainly advise against identifying myself so blatantly. Plus, there’s also the consideration that the driver of this vehicle might be readily identifiable by, say, some guy who’s built like Duane Johnson, but with the temperament of Maxine “Feinstein” Waters… just mad at everything. I do not want THAT kind of thing knocking on my door to “hash out the details” over a perceived traffic dispute.
(Speaking of lunatics, there was a story in the news recently that I found interesting… disturbing, too. Did you hear about the professional motorcycle racer rider, Romano Fenati, in the San Marino Gran Prix motorcycle race? During a race, at high speed, he actually reached over to another racer’s bike, and grabbed the brake lever of his competitor’s bike! He tried to make the other rider crash (he did not appear to succeed, although that rider crashed very shortly afterwards, so that MIGHT have been caused by the brake grabber). Fenati has since “apologized,” but that seems a little insincere, given that he’s done this kind of thing many times before! He has a long history of kicking and punching other riders— DURING races— and even reaching over to activate the kill switches on competitors’ bikes (he has succeeded in eliminating others from races by doing this). Fortunately… he has been fired from his team, his sponsors have turned their backs on him, and it looks like there’s a good chance that he’ll be blacklisted forever… which I completely agree with.)
I considered, “8BLU UP6,” but Mrs. Kdog said that it was in poor taste… way too soon to put that on a Challenger. I considered, just to see if I could get away with it, “370HSSV,” but the DMV figured that one out, and said it wasn’t going to happen… even if they DID agree that the plate was appropriate for ME. I tried to get, “GOTOHELLFORDS,” but somebody at the DMV denied me, citing, “too many characters.” I think that they mean, “too many SHADY characters…” Agreed.
I considered just swapping the plates from my previous vehicle: “YLWCMRO.” However, this new car is neither yellow, nor a Camaro, so I guess that wouldn’t really make a ton of sense.
I put in a request for, “HELL DOG,” but was denied: Some other chump already has it. “HELL NO” is also not available… but, “NO HELL” is available, and just waiting for me to order it (for those unaware, the Challenger Hellcat is the top… uhhh… dog, in the Challenger lineup. When driving a Challenger, even just a “regular ol’ one,” people ask, “Is it a Hellcat?” I’d like to sort of answer that question ahead of time, and have a little fun with something that sort of feels like a curse word).
“GOT DOGE” is available… this one might be fun, based upon a meme that was floating around a couple of years ago. Google, “Doge meme,” and you’ll see what it’s all about. Interesting trivia, nearly entirely unrelated to the topic at had: According to Joe Weisenthal with Bloomberg, there is only ONE cryptocurrency that has shown major gains in the past 30 days: “Dogecoin.” And, indeed, “Dogecoin” really was named after the “Doge” meme, just as a joke. That’s all real stuff there, my friends!
Both, “VANETY” and “VANNETY” are available… as are, “PURSNAL,” “PURSONL,” and, “PURSENL.” Those might be cool plates to have. Unfortunately, somebody has already got dibs on, “GR8 PL8,” which really is a great plate. “CUSSED M” is another that I like, and is available… which seems more fun than, “CUSSTEM,” (also available), since, “CUSSED M” is another that dabbles in the vulgar, albeit without any actual vulgar words. .
“DRK DODG” is available, though! I don’t THINK that it looks like, “dork Dodge,” but I’m not sure. Maybe, “DARK DGE?”
So… I need 2 pick a PL8 soon, as I can’t roll around with these “traffic camera defeating” dealer cardboard thingies 4EVER. Not something old, but something new; not something borrowed, nor anything blue… but something GR8 for the DRK gray 6GUN in my DRVWAY.