Roads are righteous… we all know that the road down the hill is paved with good intentions. Potential obstacles are all nestled quietly on the sides of the road, and while heavy precipitation is expected, it’s only in certain areas thousands of miles from here. Rumors of snow in September are likely exaggerated, and certainly at THIS point, there are no chain restrictions in place. Plows have NOT been down my street, either, but I got out just fine this morning, without even shoveling my driveway.
So, apparently, Mrs. Kdog and I have reached a “compromise” regarding my purchase of a Dodge Hellcat. See, instead of that EXACT model, she’s agreed to allow me to purchase a different musclecar, something called a Nissan Versa.
This one does 0- 60. It’ll do a little over 150 MPH, as long as it’s being towed by a Dodge Challenger that’s doing a little over 150 MPH. It looks as cool as the Challenger, when fitted with the, “Challenger Conversion” body kit. It has a radio, which is really nice, and the doors open and close, just like on a real car. Braking distance is negligible, as speed is rarely a factor. It’s got wide tires (if by “wide,” we mean, “sort of like a ten- speed bike has”), and skidpad results show that while the car will not actually pull, “G’s,” it will pull a little to the left if you run over a pothole that’s deeper than a sunflower seed shell, or a bump larger than a Cheez- It. But, hey… basically, it IS a Challenger Hellcat, with slightly different specs. Plus, she has stopped threatening to John Bobbit me.
So, we lost Burt Reynolds. On the radio, a lot of discussion has been had regarding some interviews he did in the past few years regarding roles he had turned down… which later turned out to be BIG for the actors who DID accept the roles. Did you know that he turned down the opportunity to play the role of Chewbacca? (Reynolds was too hairy, it turns out). Or that he declined to star with Ernie Hudson in the Muppet Movie, because he figured nobody would buy the whole, “Burt and Ernie” pairing? He declined the role of Molly Ringwald’s character on, “Pretty in Pink,” too. He even turned down the role of “The Bandit…” No, wait, he took that one, and for that, Mr. Reynolds, we salute you.
What is it with radio moronosity these days? On the radio this morning, I heard an advertisement for a loan company… not the kind you want to deal with, but more like the kind you deal with when you just got a DUI, or your mom needs to be bailed out of jail again, or you have to pay somebody back for 15 pounds of missing weed because your ‘Vette (that’s Chevette, not Corvette) was stolen from right out in front of your trailer (apparently, the thief had his OWN key/ screwdriver). Anyhow, the ad stated, “Our rates start at 9.9%… the most QUALIFIED borrowers will get rates as low as 13.9%.” Okay… 13.9% isn’t the WORST rate I’ve heard of, but why do they say that their, “…rates start at 9.9%”? Then, the very next ad I heard on the radio stated that with some solar power company’s addition to your home, you can save, “… up to 50% to 90% off of your current costs.” So… why include the “50%” when the claim is that you can save up to 90%?
Then there are the radio ads that offer, “zero money down.” That drives me nuts… “Zero” is a number… try substituting any other number into that claim. How about if it was, “five money down,” or “20 money down?” Makes zero sense.
Even the radio personalities get me scratching my head. A few days ago, Hawaii was experiencing the worst storm that they’ve had in nearly a month. Somebody on a Los Angeles station was doing a report on the conditions there, and, “contacted the CHP in Hawaii for updates on road conditions.” Maybe it was the, “California Hawaii Patrol?” I guess I’ve heard of ‘em.
The weekend is here, and I am off to find my Dodge Challenger/ Nissan Versa dragonfly car (Wait, “dragonfly”? Yup… it drags uphill, and flies downhill!). Hurrah for compromise!