Roads are clear… no fires, no snow, no wrecks, no animals, no hurricanes, no himmacanes, no worries. There WAS a rockslide near Top Town, but a motorist stopped and cleared the bigger pieces… no worries there now.
There’s an old saying: “Fools rush out, when angels are rummaging through your trash.” Or something like that… I forget how it goes EXACTLY, but I know that it was said by Benjamin “Franklin” Churchill. Anyhow, I sometimes hear creatures getting into my trash cans at night. And it seems the more work I do to prevent it, the harder THEY work to achieve their own goals.
A few mornings ago, I heard some beastie out there, so I rushed out to chase it away. In the dark, I had a hard time discerning whether I was looking at one of the usual suspects (bears or raccoons)… or what. I could make out a fuzzy shape… I approached, slowly, peering into the darkness… because of the dark, it took me a few seconds to realize that I was looking straight up the tailpipe of a skunk that was locked and loaded, with the safety “off.”
Yes, I ran like a scared little girl… luckily, I got away clean.
Because I’m a super- fast learner (I’m just barely over 50 years old, and already I’ve learned these things!), when I heard TODAY’S trash- digger (hey, isn’t it weird, too, how ALL trash digging makes the same sound? Apparently, all trash cans worldwide have the same ratio of glass bottles, plastic bags, chicken bones (to attract wildlife!), and cans… it’s the same sound, for every trash can ever. Known fact.), I exercised the brilliant strategy of looking out the window first, before rushing out to chase away animal X. This time, it was a bear. And, not that I’m a fraidy- cat or anything, but I chose to cower inside, wet pants and all, rather than confronting it. I know, our local bears are like— like big teddy bears— but, still, it simply seems imprudent to face off with any bear.
But back to skunks: Brief storytime here. I used to own the world’s dumbest dog. She was sweet, and I loved her, but on the spectrum of dog intelligence, Lassie, Scooby- Doo, and The Shaggy DA are on one end of the spectrum… and Bella was even a little past the way- far- OTHER end of that line. Anyhow, one morning, we were out for a run. She always went with me. But, on this morning, we came across a skunk. Off Bella went to chase the thing.
As you might expect, she took a pretty solid shot of skunk sauce, right in the face. She yelped and hollered, and fell to the ground, trying to rub the offending stuff off of her face. Meanwhile, my thoughts immediately turned to figuring out how we were going to deal with this. The weather was too cold and wet to leave the dog outside for a few days… the dog was going to HAVE TO be inside, with all of us lightly- scented humans. I wasn’t sure how we were going to address the sitch… but I knew that we had to turn around now, and head back towards the house.
So, we did….we headed back towards the house. The dog was running alongside me, sort of whimpering, and yowling… and quite clearly miserable. Until… until three minutes later, when the dog’s attention was fully diverted by the sight of: A black and white animal to chase!
Her whimpers immediately turned to barks of joy, as she shot away to chase yet another skunk… and, yes, to take another full dose of butt- area- launched, chemical repellant. Right in the face. Those skunks have got amazing aiming skills, given that their stink shooter is behind them! Oh, that dog was NOT a fast learner.
(Random tip: Yes, the ol’ tomato juice bath works reasonably well on dogs. But for the HOUSE, take a cookie sheet or an old pan that you are willing to sacrifice, and put a layer of whole coffee beans in it… they can even be cheap, as it doesn’t need to be some gourmet thing for this application. Take your pan full of beans, stick it in the oven, and crank the heat up to a jillion degrees. Once those beans start smoking bigtime, open the oven door, and let the house fill with smoke. Soon, the smoke will counter- act the skunk smell… the smells sort of cancel each other out, so you won’t smell skunk OR coffee. )
You are WELCOME!
(Oh, also, take heart: Skunk smell seems to break down in about three days… rarely will it hang on longer than that. Sure, your dog’s fur might hold it a little longer, and you might smell it when the dog gets wet for even a few weeks, but for the MOST part… skunk scent does NOT last, contrary to the claims of many.)