Roads are clear today… ‘nuff said. I’ve got no remorse for not beating that dead horse, of course.
This morning, I got up, and headed for the bathroom. I opened the door, and was startled to see my pet pterodactyl (yep, I like my pets exotic!) already in the restroom. We were both embarrassed, but I closed the door and I apologized to him through the closed door. He said it was okay… he’s used to people not being able to hear that he’s already in there. That’s because his “P” is silent.
My doctor is a drinker. Sometimes we’ll go hit the Bear Claw and throw back a few. However, in spite of the Bear Claw’s surly reputation, my doctor is a comparatively sophisticated type, and a creature of habit. He ALWAYS has a hazelnut daiquiri, and they know it. When he walks in the door, they start making it, so by the time he sits down, it’s ready. However, the other day, they ran out of hazelnut extract. The bartender substituted hickory extract. Doc sat down, took one sip, and said, “Whoa! That is NOT a hazelnut daiquiri!” The bartender, a little sheepish, said, “Sorry about that… it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc!”
Oh, say, I’m going into business! See, I have another exotic pet… a very large gorilla. This gorilla— which came from China— is very smart, and in addition to being able to play a mean game of table tennis, has also invented an audible timer for the game. I have filed a patent on the gorilla’s behalf… we’re gonna make a mint off of the Hong Kong King Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong.
Finally, it has been suggested that the daily “Road Report” needs some changes. Some have suggested that I add information so that airport shuttles going to the resort in Lake Arrowhead will find useful information… and perhaps even tailor the report specifically to these drivers. Some have suggested that I truncate the Road Report, and that I work with other contributors. However, I don’t really like the idea… so… wait for it… I think I’ll abort the support to consort for the short airport resort transport report.