Roads are clear today (especially along those few- hundred- yard- long ribbons of new, extra- black asphalt… those parts are smoooooooooth!)… but I must note that the view from our mountain was rather spectacular. In the early morning darkness, one can clearly see the flames of the Holy Fire in Riverside County. The crescent moon looked remarkable in a stunning reddish orange. Sunrises— and sunsets— have been pretty amazing over the past few days, too, with the haze of smoke creating some great colors.
Enough about the big stuff… full on change of subject here: One of those really lame “sponsored” ads online follows the “formula” of stroking the egos of those willing to read the “article.” Its headline reads, “Only 6% of adults can read this… and most of that group are geniuses. Are you?”
Offers few a next paragraphs had that have words rearranged the. People all able almost are to easily says sentence decipher what each . Sponsor the however, wants to every make reader feel special very like, genius a, which supposedly make the should reader willing to buy more to something. Manipulation just a it’s psychological. Paragraph understanding the mean will not does MENSA you invite.
We can do a pretty good job of understanding meaning, even when words are arranged improperly… but how about words that are totally mispronounced? I heard a commercial on the radio today…some guy was offering garage doors for only, “six hunna sedney- fie” dollars. Looks crazy in print, but… when you hear it out loud, it actually sounds clear enough to understand exactly what he is saying.
How ‘bout “joolery” though… come on. Who rearranged THAT word? Or, “nukeeler.” That one subtracts a syllable from the end, and adds it to the middle, for no good reason. But, hey, if we are just adding syllables all willy nilly, maybe that’s why so many folks think that the word, “mischievous” has four syllables… it does not, though! Many pronounce it, and subsequently try to spell it, with a third “I” (how weird is THAT?!?), as in, “mis- chee- vee- us,” when, in fact, it’s just, “mis- chuh- vuss…” three syllables. I read somewhere, too, that if you mispronounce that word, and utter it with that extra syllable, over the course of your lifetime, you could waste as much as twenty seconds on this. You are welcome… I just gave you a part of your life back (except that we just wasted it now with a couple of extra sentences marveling about that… sorry… I guess you are back to even again).
Here’s one lots of us have been doing all wrong: Almond. The pronunciations offered in many dictionaries show the “L” as being silent. Not every dictionary, though… it’s sort of dichotomous among linguists whether it should be silent or not. But… say it with or without, and it still pretty much sounds the same… as long as you don’t go full moron and say it as, “AL (like in Bundy) mund.” Say it like, “Hammond Piano,” only without the “H” sound, or the “piano” part.
So, this homeless guy was knocking on doors, looking to earn a couple of dollars by doing odd jobs. One homeowner said, “I’ll give you $50 to paint my porch… there’s a brush, a roller, and a can of green paint in the garage.” A couple of hours later, the vagrant knocked on the door again, and said, “I finished the job… but, by the way, that thing is a Jaguar, not a Porsche.”
Moral of the story? There’s no such thing as a Porsh. I’m no snooty German car snob… I don’t even OWN a German car. But it’s just so deflating to hear it pronounced as, “Porsh.” I mean, even that sound just sounds like a bag of air deflating. The name, “Porsche” has two full- blown syllables… “Por,” followed by, “Shuh.” Apparently the vagrant didn’t know that the house appendage has one syllable, while the thing with the wheels that goes fast has two.
Then there’s, “Daylight Savings Time.” Nope… there’s no “s” in there. Smokey The Bear? Reader Cyn recently informed me that I’ve been sayin’ it all wrong: There’s no middle name… no “The!” No Duh! How did I not know that? Worcester, in MA? Two syllables… as in, “Wooster.” See how much easier THAT is? Speaking of places we’re saying all wrongish, how about “Sault Ste. Marie,” in MI? A friend told me that you pronounce it, “Soo…” I guess it’s “Salt Sweet SOO.” Oh, and I finally learned that “GIF” is pronounced, “Jiff.” Apparently the inventor of GIFs liked the idea of having a sound similar to that of the peanut butter brand, and less like what we give at Christmas.
Ax me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies… I won’t try to pretend that I’m not an imbesult, sometimes, though. For now, though, I’m just hungry… I’m off to grab a byte— maybe even a megabyte— of victuals. Maybe even a GIF and jamb sammich?