Wow… clarity! Crystal clarity, at that! Looks like the fog packed up and headed out of town for the weekend. Forecasters are saying that within the next couple of days, temps will hit triple digits in parts of SoCal… luckily for us on the mountain, we have, “Free Air Conditioning,” meaning that we’re typically 10 to 20 degrees cooler than the chumps down below. Anyhow, today’s drive is free of hazards. You have license to get into the car, select autopilot, and nap for another 40 minutes as your Tesla delivers you to work. Don’t have a Tesla? No biggie… driving a regular ol’ car isn’t that hard.
Today is… National Doughnut Day! Nice! Be warned, though, that it turns that police officers apparently have an approved method of celebration that was not made entirely clear to me before today. This misunderstanding has since been cleared up… with crystal clarity, even.
See, since I am a team player— almost a conformist— I wanted to demonstrate my spirit of participation with a grand kickoff to today’s celebration. Obviously, this can’t be done properly without spectators, so I selected the intersection of Waterman Avenue and 40th Street do my doughnuts.
They were glorious, too… that wide expanse of pavement is perfect for that rear- wheel- drive Camaro to just go ‘round and round, with the front end of the car just nailed to the ground, while the rear end swings around in huge smoky doughnuts. It was so spectacular that even people with the green light stopped to marvel at my celebratory demonstration.
But… the cop who showed up was rather uptight, in my opinion. He used words like, “irresponsible,” “dangerous,” even “childish.” Whatever… after he paused for breath and picked his hat up off of the ground, as he smacked the dust off of it, I smugly whipped out my trump card, and said, “You forgot… it’s National Doughnut Day!”
He did not appear to understand, nor did he even seem amused. In fact, after adding more words to the tirade, like, “stupid,” and “idiot,” he looked closely at me and said, “Say… your eyes look a little red… have you been drinking?”
This was a PERFECT opportunity to lighten the mood! I replied with, “Well, your eyes look a little glazed… you been eatin’ doughnuts?”
Please send bail money. #thuglife #respectofficers #doughnutsareforEATINGnotdoing #taserssting #noideawhathashtagsmean #dontforgetthebailmoney