Good morning, and congratulations to those of you graduating, whether from school, or just from another five-day stint of the ol’ grind. That light at the end of the tunnel is burning brightly now, eh?
Roads are without ice, rain, snow, or rocks. For the many-ith day in a row, we have the same low elevation cloud/thin fog stuff at about 2,000 feet and below, but it won’t inhibit your driving ability.
Now lately, when I descend the hill in the morning, I do not encounter any lane closures on Highway 18. However, eyewitnesses have reported that every. Flippin’. Day… out of the past week or two… CalTrans has been closing downhill lanes during the morning commute. This seems to be a new and regular thing, so I’ll say that you ALMOST certainly have a lane closure in your future if you plan to descend Highway 18 to San Bernardino today.
Today is National Donut day. Since LAST “National Donut day” did not go well for me, I decided to move my traditional celebration from the intersection of 40th and Waterman, to a nearby parking lot. Alas, it seems that some cops are still over-sensitive about this performance art, and claim some sort of legal loophole (in THEIR favor) called “exhibition of speed,” which he wrote down for me on a yellow slip of paper, along with an appointment to discuss the matter further. He did not seem to accept my argument that this SHOULD be totally legal on National Donut day, nor did he appreciate my suggestion that he go get some donuts instead of hassling me. Apparently, he found this insulting and offensive. So, just a warning to you loyal readers: National Donut day APPARENTLY has nothing to do with automotive stunts.
I got my drone off of the ground. It was terrifying. After four hours of technical set-up, like pairing the drone to the remote and to my smartphone, the pre-checks, the adjustments, the calibrations, the blessings from priests, witch doctors, fortune tellers and the FAA, the charging of components and the powering up of devices… it was time for a test flight.
The Wright Brothers’ flight at Kitty Hawk was of greater duration but probably less scary. All THEY did was get into a winged device and fly around for a while. Totally outside, totally straight line. No big whoop.
The drone lifted off of my coffee table, and immediately began sounding warning alarms and flashing red warning lights.(I’m going to bet that the Wright Brothers had no warning lights or alarms to deal with… those guys had it eeeeeeeea-ZY!) The room seemed like a NASA ground control room with an out of control rocket full of astronauts plummeting out of control. My in-hand control mechanism indicated a problem with the landing surface not being recognized. While my intent had been to simply lift off and re-land in the same spot, this was not to be. It was immediately a DEFCON 12 incident.
I tried to simply grasp the drone… catch it in the air. If one COULD grab it from the bottom the finger-shredding blades would be of no consequence. Alas, this drone has “obstacle avoidance technology” built into it, so every time I reached for it—otherwise hovering in one very stable area—it would recoil and move away from me. I couldn’t catch it.
The cat, meanwhile, was not appreciative of this foreign and flamboyant contraption. Sure, this is the same cat that sits in the window and talks BIG smack when a dog walks past the house, and has assured us that if we simply let her outside, she’ll rid the property of skunks, raccoons, bears, mountain lions, wildabeasts, baboon colonies, and even rexes tyrannosauri… but, when this little helicopterish apparatus went airborne in the house, the cat’s vast reserves of medallic courage evidently evaporated quickly. What a pussy.
Well, in fairness, that sort of describes me, too, I suppose. I was still trying to get this super techish, multi-bladed contrivance to land. Warnings were flashing on my screen, alerting me to the fact that a suitable landing area was not being detected. I needed to find another place to land, and I needed to do it soon.
I cautiously bumped the joysticks, trying to determine what action would result from each move. I was able to accidentally get it to hover over a section of floor that had more room for error than did the corner of the coffee table I’d used as the launch pad. However, the landing system still balked… it asked if I wanted to “force” a landing… and when I replied in the affirmative, it warned me of dire consequences should this half-baked plan go south. I even had to confirm ONE more time that this emergency maneuver to “force the landing” was what I really wanted. I quickly confirmed in the affirmative.
And then, finally, down it went… gently, softly, and without incident. Now, I’m not saying my house is messy or anything, but the downgale it generated cleared out a really clean spot of the floor, with all of the socks, Cheetos, Legos, and even empty beer cans totally blown out of the way. We are very proud to have a five-foot diameter circle of floor, that is now really clean… this is like a flying Roomba!
So, it’s official… I am now a drone pilot. Yesterday, I was only a proud owner of a drone… today, I got my wings. I’ll need a new set of boxers, too, but whatever. I actually think there’s a usable pair on the outer diameter of the “clean circle.”
I may need a LITTLE more experience, though, before I go flying over any wildfires, or near the airport. I’m kidding, people! Of course I need a LOT more experience before doing THOSE things… duh! Maybe even an entire week of experience.
That experience acquisition may take some time, though… the manual is huge… but really only covers the basics. The details seem to be sort of a learn-as-you-go sort of thing. There are modes to learn, icons to understand, warning lights to memorize and codes to comprehend. The drone has a lot of safety features, like “obstacle avoidance” and a “return to home” feature, but in the hands of an inexperienced pilot, those features can be easily overridden… and I don’t want to be THAT guy.
The cat has now been removed from the ceiling, and her claws will probably retract around the same time that the fur on her back lays down again. The drone has been tucked away until the next flight attempt. I’m studying my manual, and hoping that I still have enough remaining brain cells for this old dog to learn a new trick.
I hope to master this thing, then attach a harness to it, and give the cat free rides around the house. THEN I feel certain she’ll really appreciate it. Heck, I’ll bet I can even make it do donuts.