Friday is here… and the roads are fairly easy to navigate. Neither rain, nor wind, nor sleet, nor hail, nor rocks, nor falling F-16 fighter jets, nor emus (yes, I’m still on that one) nor ice are part of the deal today. Fog CAN be found, but only in patches, and it’s not heavy… light to possibly moderate, if one chooses to be very liberal with that definition… the grey really isn’t a considerable visual hindrance… although, there are about 50 shades of it.
No need for chains… even if you did whip them out yesterday, due to advice from experts. While some may feel roped in by the idea of carrying chains in May, the advice to do so was not just an off-the-cuff remark… it wasn’t a gag, and wasn’t said as a yoke. Better to have them and not need them, than to need them and not have them… and, I submit that SOME parts of SoCal DID master to get snow yesterday. Again, though, no need to shackle up with snowchains today… even if you are humbled by the thought.
I read that a number of grey whales have recently turned up dead in San Francisco’s bay. Nobody knows quite why. It’s also not known if they are all from the same pod… there are at least 50 shades of the greys.
Have you ever fished for shad? It’s edible, sure… and the possession limit for those little grey fish allows you to catch up to 50 shads of gray.
I recently saw a documentary on TV about inmates at the prison in Gary, Indiana. The warden there, for obvious reasons, does not allow inmates to have any sharp objects… not even razors for shaving. However, true to form, inmate ingenuity has led prisoners to compensate with makeshift tools. They sometimes use them as weapons, but have also found ways to use them for personal grooming… some inmates have even arranged small “businesses” of performing the service for a fee. These are called the shiv-y shaves of Gary.
An article on the ‘net said that reports of alien sightings have declined in recent years, apparently related to technology’s advances that have put a high-quality video recording device in nearly every human’s hand. The phrase, “pics or it didn’t happen” seems to be what convinces—or doesn’t—people of the truth of a story, and since “witnesses” HAVE a recording device in their hand, if they DON’T have pics, others won’t believe them. UFOlogists report that they don’t seem to be hearing of quite as many supposed abductions or encounters. However, there are still some reports that still trickle in occasionally, of both “browns” and “greys…” witnesses report a variety of them. It seems there are about 50 shades of them.
I saw a minor accident happen yesterday. A vintage Mercury was headed down Shade Lane, going way too fast. It just barely scraped a street sign… I witnessed the ’50 graze on Shade.
My friend in high school wasn’t a great student. Shay never cared about studying and got typical scores of about HALF on everything. I remember the teacher raising an eyebrow one day and asking the rhetorical question, saying, “Shay… grades of 50?”
I bought some knock-off/fake sunglasses from a bootleg/ black marketer. They had the esteemed “Fay” logo, and they looked very legit… but really, they were just grifty shades of Fay.
My grandmother recently bought some teashades. This plant is a favorite of gardeners, but it doesn’t do well growing by itself. The plant seems better in clusters… five teashades are great.
At my office, products are given letter grades by the quality control department… A, B, and C grades are all good for sale to the public, but grades of D and E are sent back to the factory. Our inspector, O’Shea, is supposed to find all of these, and weed ‘em out before they get to our retail department. Lately, though, he’s been slacking off, and today, I discovered a few of them. I overheard my supervisor talking to him after I had reported finding FIVE of them: He said, “We’re going to need you to be more vigilant, now that we found today’s fifth E-grade, O’Shea!”
I once rode with a Jewish truck driver, as we traveled through the hills of Colorado. He did not enjoy driving through the mountains, at one point saying, “These are not… nifty grades, oy vey!”
Okay, one brief moment of non-nonsensicalness: Grey vs. gray… which spelling is correct? Answer: Both! It makes no difference whatsoever which one you chose to use, except MAYBE during a game of Scrabble…. although they both offer the same point value there. The difference is considered dialect-based, but what dialect, from where, and used by whom, nobody can really say. It matters not… so, while both are acceptable, there ARE two acceptable shades of… grey. Or gray. Whatever.
There’s a cemetery in Transylvania… the only problem with it is that during the daylight hours, funny things happen, and the plots seem to be mysteriously disturbed. Nighttime isn’t the problem… it’s just a regular ol’ cemetery then. However… at the other end of the clock, they get the shifty graves of day.
Okay, the wordplay is really getting depraved… it may not even be very Christian of me to have gone with this theme. I might even have to convert to BDSM (that’s the abbreviation for Buddhism, you pervs!). Today’s theme wasn’t intentionally born o’ graphic ideas, but, well, just sort of evolved into fifty shades of GREAT!